


When It Rains, It Pours

by MissMcCarthy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Bro Thor, F/M, Happy Ending, Language, Pregnancy, angst with fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-26 08:04:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMcCarthy/pseuds/MissMcCarthy
Summary: Things are going great between you and Bucky, until one day they aren’t. He dumps you, not knowing that what you’d wanted to talk to him about was the positive pregnancy test you held behind your back.Bonus prompt fill: “Your mistake I’m afraid, was assuming I still had light in me. Doll, you should know by now all that’s left is darkness.”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 93
Kudos: 409





	1. The End

It was your third anniversary with Bucky and your first one as his fiancee. When you’d joined the team four years ago, you’d never expected to fall in love with the Winter Soldier. To many in the outside world, he was still the Hydra pawn that they would never quite trust. It hadn’t you long to see the man beneath the cold exterior.

The two of you had danced around each other for months before the others finally got tired of it. One night, after a successful mission Tony had convinced the team to play Truth or Dare. Once the game was in full swing, Clint dared you to spend seven minutes alone with Bucky in the closet. Never one to back down from a dare, you’d merely grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him along, your heart pounding as you shut the door behind the two of you.

Neither of you had spoken, just standing there in silence, each afraid to be the one to break the spell that had fallen over you. When Bucky’s tongue swiped over his lip, you had taken a half step towards him without breaking your gaze. His hands rested on your hips and it was like a dam broke. Suddenly, the two of you were wrapped up in each other. So much so that you hadn’t noticed that Tony had flung open the door and snapped a picture until the flash lit up the room. Without breaking the kiss, you’d reached out and grabbed the door, slamming itshut again.

Over the years to come, the two of you had served together on countless missions. Where he went, you were always quick to follow and the two of you were a force to be reckoned with. You were a mutant, and you had the power to make small force fields, nothing big like Wanda, but yours were small and powerful. When the fighting got heavy, you and Bucky could always be found near each other, looking out for one another.

A week ago, you’d begun to feel sick and exhausted and you couldn’t figure it out - until you counted back to your last period. You’d raced to the store and taken three pregnancy tests. You were determined to keep it a secret until today. What better gift to give him for your anniversary than the family you’d often talked about?

Over the last week, Nat had helped you plan everything. You hadn’t told her you were pregnant, but when you told her you wanted this anniversary to be perfect she’d been more than happy to help. She’d helped you find the perfect little diner for you two, nothing too fancy but something comfortable and homey. You’d gone on countless shopping trips until you’d had just the right outfit, and the two of you even got the full works at the spa.

This morning, you had picked up the blood result tests from the doctor that said you were pregnant. Sure, you could give him a positive pregnancy test but you were hoping that it would take him a moment to figure out what the paper said. You loved his face when he was curious, reading something intriguing and you couldn’t wait to see it dawn on him what it meant.

As evening rolled around, the nerves began to set in as you got ready. You hadn’t seen much of Bucky the last week, too afraid you’d accidentally slip up and tell him and you missed him. You were finishing getting ready, pulling your hair back into a ponytail when a knock on the door caught your attention.

“Come in!” you called, continuing to work on your hair as the door creaked open.

You could see Bucky’s face in the mirror as he walked in, and you sighed. You knew that look on his face. Setting down the hairbrush, you turned and sat on the bed, patting the space next to you. Bucky sat on the chair at the foot of the bed, ignoring you.

“Let me guess. Mission came in and we have to go?” you asked, sighing.

“No. I mean, yes, I have a mission, but we need to talk first” he was looking everywhere but at you.

You scooted closer to him and reached to take his hands. What you didn’t expect, was him pulling back out of your reach. Frowning slightly, you leaned back and waited for him to talk. It was clear something heavy was on his mind.

“I can’t do this anymore” he started, “I can’t keep pretending”

“Bucky, what do you mean? What are you pretending?” your voice was soft, unsure.

“I don’t love you anymore [Y/N]” he paused, taking a breath before looking at you for the first time since entering the room the two of you shared, “We both deserve better than that.”

Your heart felt like it was ripping in two as you stared at your hands, sitting limply in your lap. You didn’t speak for a long moment, too busy blinking back tears.

“So that’s it? Where’s this coming from, Bucky? We can figure this out” you hated the way your voice broke as you plead.

“There’s no fixing this. We - you - need to move on.” 

“I thought we had something, Bucky… I thought we…? Was I wrong? Did I mess something up?” unable to continue, you held up your hand, engagement ring catching the light.

“Your mistake, I’m afraid, was assuming I still had light in me. Doll, you should know by now all that’s left is darkness.” he got to his feet, staring at the ground.

“Please don’t do this” your voice broke, a sob escaping “I know there’s still light in you, Bucky. Stay with me, we can solve this.”

“I’m sorry, [Y/N” and with that, he was gone, the door shutting gently behind him.

You curled up in your bed, pulling your knees to your chest and sobbed, not caring if anyone heard you. The hours seemed to creep past, and you didn’t move. Your best bra dug into your ribcage, but even then you didn’t move. Your heart broke as you lay there, tears soaking the bed beneath you.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep. Wiping the sleep and tears from your eyes, you sat up and looked around the room. Even though everything had changed, everything looked the same. Your bag still sat on your nightstand, your lipstick sat open in front of the mirror. 

Your stomach let out a loud growl, and you looked at the clock. It was midnight and you hadn’t eaten since lunch. Although you were tempted to just stay in your room, you didn’t just have yourself to worry about. At this hour, everyone who wasn’t on the mission would likely already be asleep so you should be able to make it to the kitchen and back before anyone even noticed.

You made it to the kitchen safely, and you began to dig around in the cabinet. You always kept a box of [Y/F/F] Poptarts in the back for when you were PMSing, but you needed it now more than ever. Turning to leave, you let out a squeak as you bumped into a warm chest. 

Large hands steadied you as you stepped back, looking up to see Thor looking at you, bewildered. You quickly looked down at the floor again, not wanting him to see your tear-stained face. 

“Lady [Y/N] are you alright?” his voice was soft.

“I’m fine,” you brushed past him, trying not to run as you headed back to your room. 

~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later, you were shoving whatever you could fit into your backpack. Whatever had happened, Bucky didn’t want you that much you were certain of. You couldn’t stay here, seeing him every day would kill you. He could never leave Steve, and you’d never ask him to. Whatever happened, you knew he’d need his best friend. 

You flung open your door, and for the second time that night bumped into Thor. You slung your backpack onto your shoulder and tried to squeeze past him, refusing to look him in the eye.

“Miss [Y/N], I must insist that you tell me what’s wrong” Thor stepped forward, resting his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m leaving, Thor” you grumbled, trying to shrug past him again.

“Do you have a mission?” His voice was puzzled as he looked you over.

“Just let me go, dammit!” you snapped, tears began to leak from your eyes again.

Thor nudged you back inside your room and shut the door behind him. He didn’t say a word, just pulled you against him. You sobbed into his chest, and he held you tight. No words were spoken as the minutes ticked by. Over the years, you had become extremely close to Thor. He was the closest thing you’d ever had to family, and right now that was definitely what you needed. Finally, you cried yourself out. He stepped back, hands on our shoulders and waited for you to speak.

“I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back. I can’t stay here anymore.”

“What happened, [Y/N]. Did someone hurt you? I’ll kill them. Just tell me who.” 

“Bucky broke up with me and I can’t stay. I need to leave, please Thor. Let me go” your voice was pleading as you stared up at him.

“Would you like me to kill him? For you, I shall” he offered. You searched his face for any sign he was kidding, but his face was determined and you knew that if you asked, he would.

“No, Thor. Don’t hurt him. Please… I don’t want that, at all” you tried to be clear as you could with him.

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know… As far as I can get from here. He’s on a mission, and I need to be gone before he gets back” you chewed your lip as you looked down at the ground, shifting back and forth on the balls of your feet.

“Come to Asgard.” Thor’s voice was earnest as he waited for your answer.


	2. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Thor’s offer looming over you, you have a decision to make. One that could have some pretty unintended consequences

You stared up at him, mind racing as you thought about his offer, “Thor… I’m not coming back here. Ever. Meaning I need to build a life somewhere. A real life.”

“Exactly. Build one in Asgard. You’d be welcomed as a warrior, and I know the others would love to meet you” a small smile began to cross his face, and you couldn’t help but consider his offer.

“But I’m a Midgardian? I’m human, Thor. Won’t that be, y’know, a problem?” you’d always wanted to see Asgard, and if you went you’d never have to worry about stumbling across Bucky on accident. The idea of a truly fresh start was honestly sounding like a really good one.

“No one would dare question you, Lady [Y/N]. You are as fine a warrior as any of us and you would be welcomed to remain if that is what you chose.”

You chewed your lip lightly, “What if… What if I don’t want to be a warrior anymore? What if I just want to be a baker?”

Thor shrugged, “Then you’ll run the finest Midgardian Bakery in Asgard. Well, the only one but still the finest. You’ll be welcome to stay then too.”

After a long moment, you put your hand on his, squeezing it tight, “Thank you. I’d love to go if you’re sure. When can we leave?” you paused, “ I don’t actually want to be a baker though” 

“We’ll leave in the morning, after we say our goodbyes” He nodded, putting out a hand to stop you before you could argue, “I won’t have them thinking I’ve kidnapped you. Besides, you’ve fought by their side for years. Regardless of what Bucky has done, you owe them a farewell.”

There was no arguing, and after a long moment, you quickly retreated to your room. You barely slept, tossing and turning all night. Even though you were distraught about the breakup, some part of you couldn’t wait to see what life in Asgard was going to be like. 

When dawn finally rolled around, you climbed out of bed, showered and raced down to the living room. Thor was already waiting for you in the kitchen, talking to Steve and Tony as they made coffee. You nodded a hello, setting your pack by the kitchen island and grabbing a small cup of coffee. Natasha had gone on the mission with Bucky it seemed, so you were waiting on Clint and Banner. Luckily, the scent of coffee seemed to summon them out of nowhere.

As you went to take a sip, Clint snagged the cup of your hands and took a seat next to you, letting out a grumbled greeting. You rolled your eyes, grabbing a muffin instead. He was always such a grouch in the morning, and to be honest you were going to miss that. It was always the perfect time of day to play pranks on him.

Thor cleared his throat, “I’ll be returning to Asgard today. I am unsure when I will be back. I have business to attend to.”

“We’ll be sad to see you go, Thor. Is there anything we can help you out with?” Steve asked.

Thor’s gaze met your own and you began to speak, “Actually… I’m going with him.”

Steve turned to you, puzzled, “How long will you be gone? What about Bucky?”

“I’m leaving the team. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Bucky broke up with me last night, and I can’t be here when he gets back. I need to go clear my head” you let out a shaky breath, picking at the muffin in front of you. 

“He what?” Steve was clearly blindsided by the news, “You had to have misunderstood. He’d never do that!” 

You felt Clint’s arm wrap around you in a one-armed hug, and you leaned in for a moment before glaring at Steve, “Yeah. It’s so easy to misunderstand when someone tells you, to your face, that they don’t love you. My mistake.” 

“[Y/N], he loves you. You know that. He’d never say that” Steve tried to defend Bucky, but even he wasn’t quite sure what to do or say here.

“But he did say it, Steve. And I can’t stay here. I love him” your voice broke and you took a breath before continuing, “Steve, I love him and I can’t stay here. I can’t wake up every day and see him. I am leaving. Today.”

“We could make him leave” Clint offered, his voice dark, “That way you can stay.”

You bumped Clint with your shoulder gently, “I appreciate that, but no. I need time away from all of this. Besides, this is his home, Clint.”

“It’s yours too” Tony finally broke his silence.

“Not anymore. Don’t worry about me guys, I’ll be alright” you tried to make your voice sound light, “I’ll be safe in Asgard, and it’s just the break I need from everything. I’ll get my head on straight, and everything will be alright in the end. Promise.”

Over the next hour, the others tried to convince you to stay. You would not budge though, and eventually, you got to your feet and slung your backpack over your shoulder. It was time to leave. You hugged Tony and Bruce, telling them to take care of each other and then turned to Clint.

Clint was muttering darkly under his breath, and you sighed. The two of you had become close since you’d been partnered for the first time. Whenever Bucky couldn’t be sent with you, Clint had been your partner and you’d filled in for Nat many times. You wrapped your arms around him tight, pulling him close. His arms quickly wrapped around you and for a moment you seriously worried he’d suffocate you. 

After a long moment, you stepped back, grabbing his chin to make him look at you, “Clint. I need you to swear you’ll be nice to him. I’m a big girl, and I’m making my own decision. You can’t be an ass to him about it.”

Clint said nothing. You stomped on his foot, hard, and he yelped loudly. You said nothing, just staring at him, your foot tapping on the ground impatiently. After a long moment, he mumbled an agreement. 

“And for the love of God, stop forgetting to take your hearing aids out when you shower. At some point, Tony’s going to stop repairing them” you smirked, trying to lighten the mood a little. You hugged him tight one last time, before turning to look at Steve.

Steve hesitated for a moment before opening his arms. You could see how torn he felt as you stepped into his arms. You were his friend, but Bucky was his best friend and you’d expect nothing less than this indecision from him.

“Take care of him, please Steve” your voice was soft, and for a moment you worried he hadn’t heard you.

It wasn’t until you stepped back that he nodded to you, and you knew he understood. You turned to Thor, and with one last wave to those you were leaving behind, you left your old Midgardian life behind.

~~~~~~

Two days later, Bucky and Nat returned from their mission. You were long gone, and the others were taking it rather hard. Tony had barely left the lab, and Clint was busy plotting his revenge. He’d promised not to be mean to Bucky, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t continue his usual pranks and try to make life a little harder.

Clint watched as Nat strolled in and began to look around, searching for you. She’d picked up a small necklace she’d come across during the mission and she couldn’t wait to give it to you!

“Hey, [Y/N]! Come here!” she called out, strolling over to Clint.

Bucky blanched and began to make himself scarce but Clint’s snort stopped him in his tracks. Nat turned to Clint, perplexed. 

“[Y/N]’s not coming, Nat. She’s gone.” Clint explained, glaring at Bucky as he spoke.

“What? Where’d she go?” Nat looked between Clint and Bucky, curious as could be. 

“I think that’s a question for him” he growled, turning to the other man, his face unamused.

“What’s he talking about?” her voice grew cold as she turned to look at Bucky.

Bucky paused, trying to figure out what to say but Clint beat him to it, “He dumped [Y/N], and now she’s gone.” He watched the alarm flicker across Bucky’s face before he continued, “Thor took her back to Asgard. She said she couldn’t stay here anymore and now she’s gone.”

Nat had turned to Clint as he spoke, but now she whirled back to face Bucky. If looks could kill, Bucky would be six feet under. He began to blanch, stepping back out of her reach, but he was not quick enough. 

Bucky made no move to fight back as Nat began to beat on him. It wasn’t long before she had him pinned on the ground. Clint said nothing, merely watching Bucky get the beating he so rightly deserved. 

“Get off him, Nat!” Steve yelled. He’d heard the commotion from the kitchen, and come as fast as he can. 

He pulled Nat off of Bucky, frowning at the unhelpful Clint who merely shot him a cocky smirk as he watched. Steve gently shoved Nat back, standing between her and Bucky.

“Nat. She made her own decision, no one forced her to leave” Steve’s voice was tired as he blocked her.

“We just went on a damn mission together, Steve. He said everything was fine between them! He should have told me” she spat, her eyes shooting daggers as she stared at Bucky.

“What did you want him to do? Tell you he just dumped your best friend? Yeah, that’s a great plan on a mission.” Steve explained.

Clint reached forward, laying a hand on Nat’s shoulder. He didn’t agree with Bucky’s decision, but he was glad she came home safe, and if that meant Bucky lied to her for a weekend, well, he’d take it. She shrugged away from him, and stalked out of the room, shooting one last glare at Bucky as she left. 

Steve reached down to Bucky, offering the man a hand up, “What did you do?”

“I did what I had to” Bucky muttered, refusing Steve’s hand as he climbed to his feet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to start over in a new world. What will you do as your pregnancy moves along?

It had been three weeks since Bucky had broken up with you and your life imploded. You’d been nervous when Heimdall first brought the two of you to Asgard, but that didn’t last long. Just as Thor had said, you’d been welcomed from the start. Thor had immediately settled you into a guest suite next door to his own rooms and you’d quickly begun to adjust to life there. Apparently, Thor had regaled his fellows with tales of the battles you’d all fought in and many wanted to hear the tales retold by you as well.

It hadn’t taken long for you to fall into a routine. In the mornings, you’d train with Lady Sif in archery and knife throwing. At first, she’d tried to get you to practice hand to hand combat with her, but you’d managed to convince her that you were recovering from an injury so you weren’t quite ready for that yet and she’d let it drop. The two of you had quickly become friends and it was clear from the start that you were two peas in a pod!

In the afternoon, Thor joined you for training and with the help of him and the Warriors Three, you were able to practice using your powers. They’d take turns trying to ambush you, and you’d do your best to defend yourself. You were pleasantly surprised to find out that you could decently hold your own, and your powers were actually beginning to grow stronger thanks to them.

After four days of pleading, you’d managed to convince Loki to teach you all about Asgard. Your evenings were spent in the library with him, learning their customs, rules and history. Loki was a surprisingly good teacher, and he made it easy to learn. Your knowledge grew in leaps and bounds as you learned courtly manners, holidays, and the tales of battles long past.

While you’d never quite been Loki’s biggest fan, you were quickly learning to think of him like a brother. He’d been sullen and uncomfortable around you, but after you stood up for him when others had been mocking him, he’d begrudgingly begun to care for you as well, although he wouldn’t admit to that out loud. It definitely helped that you guys were spending hours locked together in the library each evening.

During the day it was easy to pretend everything was okay. You were always surrounded by your friends, and for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel like death was waiting behind every corner. When you retreated alone to your room each night though, it was like a punch to the gut. You’d grown so used to sharing a room and bed with Bucky, that falling asleep alone was foreign. You often spent hours tossing and turning, wondering where everything went wrong before you fell into a fitful sleep.

Morning sickness was beginning to hit you hard, and even Thor was starting to worry. You hadn’t told anyone here you were pregnant, and you were nervous about how they’d react. Soon, you’d need to see a doctor to make sure everything was on track, and you weren’t sure that they’d be able to help you here. Perhaps Midgardian pregnancy was too different from Asgard? You needed to find that out, and soon.  
One morning, after a particularly brutal training session with Sif, you decided it was time to do something about. It was time to stop hiding, and tackle the situation head on, you couldn’t pretend forever.

“Lady Sif, I have a favor I’d like to ask of you” your voice was steadier than you felt, and you fought to meet her gaze.

“Of course, [Y/N]. I’d be glad to help you if I can” she watched you curiously, it was clear something had been bothering her for weeks and she was hoping you’d finally tell her.

“I am… I am pregnant. On Midgard, we typically see our doctors routinely throughout the pregnancy. I was hoping perhaps you could help me figure out the customs here, and perhaps find a healer or midwife or whoever would be most appropriate?”

Lady Sif said nothing for a long moment before she burst out laughing, a smile gracing her face, “Here I was worried you were dying, you looked so serious!” After a pause to catch her breath, “Congratulations, and I’d be glad to help you. I do have to ask though, who is the father? Is it Loki?” she’d noticed the two of you spending time alone in the evenings, and you seemed close.

You blanched at her suggestion, “God no, Loki? He’s just as much a brother to me as Thor. The father is back on Midgard, and is not a concern of mine anymore. In fact, he’s why I left.”

She nodded, putting her hand on your shoulder, “Then we shall speak no more of him. There’s a midwife in town who should be able to assist you. Have you told Thor or Loki yet?”

“No, I haven’t. Truth be told, you’re the first person I’ve told” you smiled softly at her, “I know I need to but with everything that happened, well, I’ve been a bit nervous.”

“I appreciate the trust you have in me. I’ll keep your secret, but I’d recommend you tell them before you start to show. It will be much easier that way. I can assure you however, they are your friends and they will be just as excited for you as I am.” Lady Sif draped her arm over your shoulder and began to lead you into town.

As you walked, she explained the customs and technicalities of pregnancy on Asgard. Luckily, from what she said it sounded rather similar to Midgard. She brought you to a stern, older woman who introduced herself as Bitra. She was a well trusted midwife, and she was happy to discuss everything with you. Bitra explained that she’d be happy to assist you, but since she had no knowledge of Midgardian pregnancies she could only do what she could do.

Later that evening after your lessons with Loki, you asked Thor and the trickster if you could all speak privately. When you’d all arrived in your room and shut the door behind you, you motioned for them to sit and you began to pace. Despite Lady Sif’s reassurance, you found you were still exceedingly nervous. The two watched you as paced back and forth, shooting each other curious glances as they waited for you to speak.

“I’m pregnant” you blurted finally, turning to face the two of them. 

An odd look quickly flashed across Loki’s face before he schooled it back, it was so quick that you half doubted you had seen anything at all. However, he said nothing and as the silence dragged on, you began to wring your hands. 

“Is this why Barnes ended your betrothal?” Thor’s voice was cold, dangerous.

“No, Thor” you quickly explained, “Bucky didn’t know I was pregnant. I was going to tell him that night but, well, he dumped me before I could.”

Thor got to his feet, you’d never seen him look so angry and for a long moment you worried he was angry at you until he spoke, “I’m going to murder him for hurting you, Lady [Y/N].”

“Woah, hey now Thor. You can’t do that” you stepped directly in front of him, placing your hand on his chest. 

“Why in the worlds not? He can’t just have his way with you and get away with it!” he growled.

“Hold on bud. It takes two to tango, Thor. I wanted it too. Bucky did nothing wrong. He doesn’t even know” you sighed, hating that you had to have this conversation at all.

Thor looked at you shocked for a moment, “Then you must tell him! Perhaps that is the thing that will make him come back to you!”

You snorted, “Having a baby together does not fix a relationship, Thor. This is my choice. My child. He doesn’t know, and he can’t know. You can’t tell him. That goes for you too, Loki.”

Loki nodded once in agreement after a long pause, “Congratulations, Lady [Y/N].”

“Thank you, but you know I’m no Lady” you smiled softly at your teacher, “You’ve taught me it is against etiquette to call someone Lady if they don’t hold the title.”

Thor looked at Loki who shrugged before turning back to you, “We were going to surprise you this weekend, but I suppose we could tell you now. The feast on Friday is to celebrate you, as you are being granted the official title of Lady.”

Your jaw dropped and you stared at him, “I’m sorry, you’re what? Why?”

“You have served side by side with me in battle. You are a formidable warrior on the battlefield, and I would trust you with the lives of any of my people” he smiled at you kindly, “And, you are family. You’ve earned the title.”

Tears began to creep down your face and you grabbed him in a tight hug. He held you while you softly cried, overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the last weeks. 

~~~~~~

It had been two months since you’d left, and the pregnancy was coming along fine, or so you thought. Bitra wished she knew more about Midgardian Pregnancy, but it seemed to her like everything was okay. Overall, life was going well, and though you missed Bucky more than you could say, everything was going well. 

It had been too long, and Thor needed to go back to Earth to make sure everyone was alright. He had asked you along, but you had quickly refused. Your pregnancy was clearly evident, and you couldn’t stomach seeing your old team. With a hug and a promise to be back soon, he left.

~~~~~~

Thor arrived back at the tower to find most of the team lounging around. They’d gotten back from a long mission the day before yesterday and were taking advantage of the down time. Steve, Nat, Bucky, Tony and Clint were all hanging out in the lounge watching a movie.

Clint jumped to his feet when he saw Thor, “Hey! Is [Y/N] with you?” he was eager as he looked around for you, like a puppy waiting for his owner.

“I’m sorry, Clint. Lady [Y/N] decided not to accompany me. However, she asked me to pass this along to you” Thor said, holding out his hand.

Clint raced over to him, grinning. He looked confused as he got closer and saw nothing in Thor’s hand. Before he could say anything, Thor scooped Clint up into a tight hug. Clint grumbled and fought to get out of his grasp, and the others laughed as they watched him struggle.

Clint jumped back like a startled cat, glaring at him, “What in the hell was that?”

Thor looked at him confused, “Lady [Y/N] asked me to give you a very large hug for her. She said she misses hanging out with you, and she wanted to have me hug you for her.” 

Tony snorted with laughter as Clint stomped back to the couch, “Sounds like she’s up to her old tricks.”

Bucky refused to take his eyes off the screen, and Steve turned to Thor, “How’s she doing? Is she okay?”

“Lady [Y/N] is doing great. She’s been training with Lady Sif quite a lot, and her powers have continued to grow in strength now that she’s using them daily” Thor grinned, proud of his adopted little sister.

“Why do you keep calling her Lady [Y/N]?” Tony asked curiously.

“She is now a Lady and warrior of Asgard. It would be disrespectful for me to address her as anything else” he explained.

“Sounds like she’s doing just fine” Bucky muttered as he glared down at the floor.

Thor turned to Tony, looking at a small piece of paper he pulled from his pocket, “Can you show me where a seller of books can be found? Lady [Y/N] sent me with a shopping list, and I would like to get a start on it.”

Tony shrugged and held out his hand, “Just give me the list. I can have everything delivered here today and you can take it with you.”

Thor grabbed the list tighter to his chest, “I apologize, Tony but I swore to her that I would go myself to purchase the items she requested. She specifically requested that I do not allow any others to do the shopping.”

Everyone looked around puzzled, but Steve got to his feet with a shrug. “I’ll take you, no worries.”

The walk to the bookstore wasn’t too far, and the two of them made friendly conversation as they strolled. The mid summer heat was heavy over the city, and everyone in the city was doing what they could to avoid the miserable heat wave.

Steve watched Thor walk up to the salesman, and handed him the list. He remained by the door, watching as the salesman led Thor throughout the store to the medical section and then over to the maternity section before ending in the cooking section, collecting a large basket full of books.

When Thor returned, carrying a rather large box of books, Steve caught a glimpse of the medical textbooks on top and looked up at the God of thunder, “What’s this for? I thought you said everything was okay?”

Worry shot across Thor’s face for half a second before he covered it with his usual grin, “She’s fine, but since she is a warrior of Asgard, it only makes sense for our healers to learn how your Midgardian bodies work.”

Steve frowned but asked nothing more as they continued back to the tower. His thoughts were racing, and he was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming back, if they would ever see you again.


	4. Aspen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Time!

Thor had arrived back from Midgard with a huge box of books, and you were so excited. You swore he’d bought two of every maternity and medical book he was able to find in the store. When you’d laughed and asked why he’d got two copies, he shrugged and explained that one copy was for you, and one was for the library. Since you were staying and would be raising your child there, it only made sense that they had books available for the healers and midwives to study. 

You’d become overly emotional in the last few weeks, and you’d begun to sob into his chest as you hugged him. Thor merely laughed and ruffled your hair once you’d calmed down. You’d missed him while he was gone, but it had given you and Loki a chance to really bond. Thanks to the late night mentoring, the two of you had been close but while Thor was gone, he really stepped it up.

You’d begun to think of Loki as just as much of a brother to you as Thor was. You were still training with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three every day, but Loki was always nearby, never letting you out of his sight. He worried about the pregnancy more than you did, and it was honestly pretty endearing. You had never realized how much he cared about you until then. 

Bitra was pleased when you and Thor had arrived to bring her a copy of the pregnancy books and she’d read them all in no time. Apparently, Midgardian pregnancy actually was similar to Asgardian which relieved the both of you. It was like a weight was taken off your shoulders when you realized you didn’t need to worry as you had been. If it had continued much longer, you’d have had to ask Thor to take you back to Midgard for a checkup.

As summer rolled into autumn, Thor returned to his regular schedule of once a week visits to the Avengers. Every time, he offered to bring you along with him and every time you said no, merely asking him to tell the others you were doing well. They sent you their love, and once, Nat even sent you the beautiful necklace she’d found that you might like.

Bucky had been scarce since you left, and it seemed like he was getting sent on more missions than ever while the others suddenly had less. When Steve finally confronted Fury, asking what was going on he learned that Bucky had requested to be out in the field more often. He’d claimed that he’d been feeling too cooped up lately. 

It had taken Nat and Clint a while to be willing to work with him again as they had before, but eventually, Thor had managed to convince them to give up the ghost. They both held a grudge against the man who’d broken your heart, but if what Thor said was true you truly were doing alright now.

Even though Thor was making frequent trips, Loki never joined him anymore. Instead, he remained behind and looked after you. As your due date grew closer, Loki became more and more like a mother hen. When you were eight months pregnant, he began to argue with you about the fact that you were still training or really, anything you did that required you doing anything physical. As your pregnancy had progressed, you’d started training less and less and now you did barely any every day, just some basic knife throwing, but he found even that to be too much. 

“Please sit down, Lady [Y/N” Loki plead, pointing at a garden bench.

It was a lovely autumn day, and you had gone for a stroll in the gardens to enjoy the cool breeze. Unfortunately, Loki had followed you to the garden and you hadn’t even been out for five minutes before he began to pester you to take a rest. 

You whirled on him, finally having had enough. The look on your face was pure murder as you shoved your hand into his chest, pushing him back. His eyes opened wide as he watched you.

“If you don’t shut up Loki I swear I will kill you! I am pregnant, not injured! If I want to go for a stroll in the garden, I will damn well do so” you spat, glaring at him.

“I’m sorry. I just worry for you” he sighed, “I don’t want anything to happen to you or your child.”

Seeing the sad look on his face, a small frown crept across your face and you swept him up into a hug, “I know. But you need to trust me here. I feel totally fine, okay? If I didn’t, I would take a break. I know my body, okay?” 

After a long pause, his arms wrapped around you to return the hug. You stayed that way for a long moment before you stepped back and held out your arm. With a small smile, he hooked his arm in yours and the two of you went on a tour of the gardens, this time he only asked you to take a break every ten minutes.

~~~~~~

On November 14, you welcomed your little girl into the world. The birth had gone perfectly, and Bitra couldn’t have been prouder of you. Thor had been there to hold your hand through the whole thing, though he later swore that you broke his hand. She was the spitting image of her father and looking down at her for the first time your heart tightened. She had his brown hair, and looking into her eyes you swore you felt like you were looking straight at Bucky. You smiled softly down at her, tears in your arms as you cuddled her close and thought about her father.

“What are you going to call her?” Lady Sif had come to see you, and she was so excited to welcome the little one into their ragtag group.

“Her name is Aspen” your voice was gentle as you watched her sleep.

You’d named her after the town where you’d fallen in love with Bucky. The two of you had been sent on a mission to track a potential Hydra agent, and you’d had to pretend to be a honeymooning couple in the ski town. You’d spent the weekend curled up in the lobby of the lodge with him, and that had been that. The way he looked at you sometimes during that mission, you’d forgotten that you two weren’t really on your honeymoon.

“A strong name for a strong warrior” Lady Sif laughed softly, “I look forward to training with you properly once you’re feeling better, [Y/N]. It will be interesting to see how you do!”

You let out a low groan and threw your head back against the pillow, you were exhausted and the mere idea of training was too much for you right now. Sif merely grinned mischievously and headed out after patting you on the shoulder.

“You have a beautiful daughter” Loki had finally come to see you, and he smiled down at you sadly. He’d become your confidante over the last few months, and he understood just how much you missed Bucky. If anyone had asked you a year ago if you could ever imagine considering Loki family you’d have laughed in their face. Time had a way of changing things though.

You scooted over carefully, tired and sore and he climbed into bed next to you. He sat next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you rested your head on his chest. You smiled down at your baby girl, “Hear that sweetie? Uncle Loki thinks you’re pretty.”

Tears welled in your eyes and began to roll down your cheeks, getting Loki’s shirt damp, as you thought of Bucky. Loki ignored the tears and began to hum a soft lullaby. You were almost asleep when you swore you heard him whisper, “I’m sorry” but before you could respond, you were out like a light.

When you awoke the next day to Aspen’s crying, Loki was long gone. Bitra arrived to help you out as you learned tips on raising your baby girl, and you soon forgot all about his late-night apology.

~~~~~~

Thor was a day late to his usual meeting with the team. He’d waited to make sure you were alright before he left, and even then he only did so once you’d sworn to have Heimdall get him if you needed anything. He promised that he’d be back as soon as he could, and had left at first light.

When Thor entered the tower, he couldn’t stop smiling. The sight of you and Aspen together was enough to leave him grinning like a fool. The lounge was almost empty at the early hour, only Clint was present.

“What’s got you in a good mood?” Clint grumbled, clutching his coffee cup and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Lady [Y/N] -” he started, but caught himself. Only, he didn’t know what to say next and froze. 

“What about her?” Clint was suddenly awake, “Is she okay?”

“Er, yeah. No, she’s great” he stumbled over his words, “Nope she’s fine, great, nothing to worry about there. She’s just at home. Yep. Just at home with the others. Nothing weird there.”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Yeah that’s not suspicious at all. Thor, you better tell me the truth. If something’s wrong with her and you don’t tell me, I’ll kill you.”

Nat walked in just in time to hear Clint and she whirled on Thor, “What’s wrong with [Y/N]?” her voice was hard.

“She’s fine, I swear. She’s just at home, resting” Thor explained, cursing himself internally.

“Yeah, I’m not buying that. Okay, buddy. I think we’ve given her enough space” Clint said, getting to his feet, “Let’s go see her, I need to see she’s okay.”

Thor frowned, “I’m sorry Clint, but Lady [Y/N] has specifically requested I not bring any visitors.”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Look, no one we know but you has seen or heard from her in months. How in the hell are we supposed to know you’re telling the truth? For all we know, she’s not doing well at all.”

“You must know I would not lie to you” Thor sighed, “But Lady [Y/N] has made her wishes perfectly clear and I would dare not go against her. Not in this matter” he rubbed his hand, which was still aching from your grip.

“What’d [Y/N] say?” Steve asked as he walked in and leaned against the counter, watching Thor curiously.

“That she does not want visitors and I am not to bring any of you with me to Asgard” he explained.

Steve sighed, “Still? It’s been seven months, Thor. Surely she can’t still mean that. When did she tell you no visitors?”

“Last night.” Thor’s voice was steady and slightly sad. He didn’t like keeping secrets from the team but he’d do it for you.

“Seriously? What’s going on with her, Thor. Please. Is she really okay? I’m worried about her” Nat sighed, stealing Clint’s coffee mug. 

“I swear on my honor, Natasha. Lady [Y/N] is doing fine. If she was not, Heimdall would have summoned me back already. He is under strict orders to get me if anything is wrong with her. They-She is happy, and she is healthy” Thor was looking her in the eyes, earnest as he spoke. 

Steve nodded unhappily but he and Clint gave up the argument, hoping that Thor was telling the truth. Natasha however, had caught Thor’s latest slip up and her mind began to race.


	5. Life Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time stops for no one, not even heartbreak.

One year later, you were watching your baby girl as she stumbled towards her Uncle Thor. In the past two months, she’d begun to walk and now a whole new world of fear had opened up for you as she seemed to be determined to get herself into as much trouble as possible. You smiled as Thor helped Aspen slowly walk across the room to her toy bin.

As you watched, you thought back on the last year and how everything had changed. As soon as Bitra had cleared you, Sif had started to drag you out to train every morning. Thor was always more than happy to babysit for you while you trained, and you knew Aspen was in good hands. 

All the training you’d done with the Avengers felt like nothing compared to the training sessions with Lady Sif. She gave you no pity, and even though you were ‘only a midgardian’ as she liked to say, you were expected to fight like an Asgardian. To be fair, you couldn’t complain about her training methods. Sure, you were constantly bruised, battered and exhausted, but you were in the best shape of your life and your fighting skills had improved considerably.

Your powers had continued to grow, and now you were able to project out the shields. Before, you’d have to keep in contact with them to keep them up. Nowadays, you could fire them out about ten feet from you, and you’d learned to use it to your advantage in a fight. Whenever the fighting got a little too close for comfort, you’d just send a shield flying at them and they’d go soaring back to buy you room.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Bucky wasn’t there, it might have been the best year of your life. The mere thought of Bucky though was enough to make you want to cry. Unfortunately, life goes on and you’d had to accept that. You’d learned to bite back the tears in order to get everything done that you needed to. You could go days without crying now, but every day you felt the knife in your chest as you imagined what raising Aspen would be like if he was there.

Thor had kept going on his weekly check ins to the team, and he told you everyone was fine but they really missed you. You missed the hell out of them too, but you’d made your decision to keep Aspen a secret, and it was one you planned on sticking to. Loki hadn’t been back to Midgard since you’d come to Asgard, but you never questioned it.

Loki shook you from your thoughts as he approached, sitting next to you. You smiled and turned to him. Without a word, you nudged the plate of cake over to him. You’d been celebrating Aspen’s first birthday today and everything was going great.

“You know I’m right” Loki started, and you let out a groan, resting your head on the table.

“Loki, do we have to do this today?” you grumbled.

“Look, I know you’re both Asgardians now, but you know someday she’s going to want to know about her Midgardian roots. Don’t you think it would be better for you to start taking her on vacations there now? What’s going to happen when she’s a rebellious teen and tells you she wants to move there?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Loki. She just turned one. I’ve got twelve years before she’s a teenager. Besides, it’s not like she’d even know if we visited there or not!” 

“[Y/N], you know I'm right. It’ll be easier if you start now than when she’s older. If you start now, she’ll never have to wonder and it won’t become some mysterious land that she wants to run away to.”

“For the record, I agree with Loki” Thor explained, still playing with Aspen.

You groaned, “Not you too.”

“Besides, if we go now…. They just put up the tree in downtown. And I know you miss skating at Rockefeller Center. If you agree to go back for just a day, we’ll all go ice skating” Loki promised. 

“One day? And you’ll shut up?” you raised your head from the table to look at him.

“One day, and I’ll stop asking you for a year” he stuck out his hand in a silent offering and you rolled your eyes, reaching out to shake his hand.

“We’ll go tomorrow” you sighed, it was already late and you might as well make a full day of it if you were going. 

~~~~~~

Bright and early the next morning, you and Aspen met up with Loki and Thor and headed back to Midgard. You’d landed outside of town, and as you loaded onto the train you began to feel antsy. There were so many people here, and if any of the Avengers saw you… 

Your thoughts began to race and Thor rested his hand on your shoulder, smiling down at you and Aspen. You took a deep breath and nodded, resting her against her your hip as you looked around. Everything would be fine. It had to be, right?

~~~~~~

It was early afternoon and the day had gone remarkably well. You guys had made it to Rockefeller Center, and you’d finally had the chance to ice skate again. After a while, Aspen had tired of it and you’d decided to take a break as well. You were leaning against the wall of the skating rink watching Thor and Loki skate around while you bounced Aspen absentmindedly. You were too distracted by the two of them to notice the man walking up beside you. 

“[Y/N]? Is that really you?” Clint asked, the shock evident in his voice.

“Sorry pal, I think you have the wrong person” you muttered, turning away from him.

Clint snorted in laughter, and grabbed your shoulder in his hand. Before he could speak, though, you’d reared back your arm and attempted to elbow him in the face. 

“Woah! Calm down [Y/N]. It’s just me!” he huffed, stepping just outside of your range. 

Thor and Loki had spotted the problem, and they raced over to you, stopping just inside the rink. You shot Loki a glare and handed Aspen to Thor without a word. Loki mumbled that they’d give you two some privacy, and they set off skating while you turned to Clint.

“So, you’re gone almost two years and the first thing you do is come back to ice skate, lie to me, and then try to attack me?” he grumbled.

“I’m sorry Clint” you sighed, “Look. I didn’t even want to be here today but Loki made me. I didn’t want to run into -”

“Is it just Bucky you’re worried about running into or were you hoping to avoid all of us” he asked softly.

“You don’t understand Clint. He can’t know” your voice was almost desperate as you turned to look from him, watching Aspen with her uncles.

The silence seemed to last forever before he spoke, “You mean he can’t know about her?”

“Clint, you can’t tell him” you whirled to face him, eyes blown wide “Please. You can’t tell him you saw us”

“Is she why you left?”

You took a deep breath, “Yes. I was going to tell him I was pregnant that night, but he ended things. I didn’t want him deciding to stay with me out of some antiquated sense of responsibility. We’re not his responsibility.”

Clint nodded and stepped closer so his arm brushed yours as you leaned against the wall, looking out over the rink, “So I take it you’re not back for good?”

You shook your head, “Just for the day. We’re headed back tonight after we see the tree.”

“Can I spend the day with you?” his voice was quiet, nervous.

You didn’t say anything for the longest time, but eventually you wrapped him up in a hug. He immediately responded, hugging you back tight. You really had missed your favorite prankster. 

After a few moments, you pulled back from him, “Yeah… I think I’d like that”

A brilliant smile lit up his face like a kid on Christmas, but then he bit his lip and stared at you with his puppy dog eyes, “Do you think Nat could come too? She really misses you and she’ll kill me. You know she can keep a secret”

You let out a groan, “Can you get her out here without anyone following her or thinking something’s up? She has to promise not to tell anyone, Clint. Same for you!”

“Consider it done!” he stepped back, pulling out his phone. A few minutes later, he walked back, smiling, “She’s on her way.”

“I swear to you, Clint. If this is a trick or I see Bucky because of you, you’ll wish you’d never been born” you muttered.

Twenty minutes later, you felt arms wrap around you from behind and you froze. Nat released you quickly as you tensed up and you grinned as you turned to face her. Thor and Loki were still out on the ice with Aspen, and it gave the three of you a few minutes to catch up.

About five minutes later, Loki skated up holding a crying Aspen. You whirled and took her from him, and began to calm her down as he skated away again, giving you all space. Nat’s eyes opened in shock and she watched in silence as you soothed your little one. 

Nat’s mind raced as she put together all of the pieces. From all of Thor’s slip-ups throughout the year, she’d begun to figure that you had been dating someone else. Thor had often said “they’ and she’d assumed that you had found a new relationship. She’d never considered that you’d had a daughter.

After Aspen had finally quieted, you smiled at Clint and Nat, suddenly nervous, “Guys. This is my daughter, Aspen.”

Nat stood there, shocked silent for the first time as Clint smiled at your baby girl, “Congrats, [Y/N]”

“Is she -” Nat went went silent, eyes studying Aspen.

“Yes. She is, and yesterday was her first birthday” you bounced her around and Aspen giggled.

“Well that explains a lot” she mumbled.

Eventually Loki and Thor rejoined the group, and Thor thoroughly apologized to Clint and Nat for keeping your secret. Luckily, they didn’t seem to hold a grudge against him, knowing he’d only done it for you. You spent the rest of the day catching up, and for a while it felt like you had never left. 

When dark fell, you went to watch the tree be lit up with the others and you smiled, your family was almost all there. The day had been perfect, and you grinned. You’d been so caught up in missing Bucky that you’d never realized just how much you missed the others. 

It was almost time for you to leave, you had an early morning training session with Sif and Aspen was starting to get grouchy. A souvenir cameraman came by, and spotted your group. When he offered to take a photo of all of you in front of the tree, you’d quickly agreed. The picture was perfect, you in the middle with Aspen and surrounded by your friends and family

You bought two copies of the photo from him, keeping one for yourself and giving the other to Clint after he swore to keep it well hidden. When it was time to leave, there were plenty of tears shed and you promised Clint and Nat that now that they knew about Aspen, they’d be welcome to visit any time. 

~~~~~~

Later that night, Clint passed out on the couch in the lounge watching a movie. Steve walked out to find the TV still on at two in the morning and reached to grab the remote from Clint to shut it off. Instead of grabbing the remote though, he instead grabbed a folded up photograph.

There you were, smiling with your family and with a baby girl on your hip. The moment Steve got a good look at Aspen, he knew why you’d left, and now he didn’t know what to do.


	6. Photographs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a photograph of you and Aspen, what will he do now?

The next morning, Steve asked Friday to have Clint and Nat report to his office bright and early. Clint was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when Steve set the unfolded photo on the desk in front of him. 

Nat turned to look at Clint, who still hadn’t figured out what was going on. “One fucking day. You couldn’t even make it one fucking day?!” she hissed, smacking him upside the head, hard. 

Clint’s eyes flew open as he finally woke all the way up, and he grabbed the photo off the desk. He began to open and close his mouth repeatedly, not quite sure what to say until he finally settled on a simple, “Fuck.”

“I’m waiting to hear the explanation here guys,” Steve said, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Uh, well, you see, I was babysitting my neighbor’s kid?” Clint offered.

Steve just raised his eyebrows and sighed, waiting for the truth. 

“Alright. Alright fine.” Clint grumbled, “But you can’t tell anyone you figured it out from me. I don’t care if you say you were keeping me under surveillance to make sure I didn’t do something stupid, but please please please don’t tell anyone.”

Steve nodded his head once, not promising anything, and Clint opened his mouth to continue. Before he could speak, however, Nat slammed her foot down on his. He whimpered, shooting her a glare as he leaned down to rub his foot. 

“Seriously Nat?” Steve huffed, “There’s literally a photograph here of you together with Loki, Thor, and [Y/N]. Are you really going to pretend you know nothing?”

Nat merely shrugged and leaned back in her chair to mimic Steve’s posture. After a beat, Clint leaned back too.

“Okay look. You can either explain this to me, right now, alone. Or, I go get Tony, Bruce, and Bucky and tell them you’ve apparently been seeing [Y/N] and show them the photograph. Which route works better for you two?” Steve asked, frustrated. 

“Steve. I know you better than that, you wouldn’t do that. You and I both know it would only hurt Bucky” Nat reasoned, not budging.

“True. But at this point, I’ve got three team members lying to me for who knows how long? This stops today, and I need to know what’s going on.” Steve was willing to play hardball if she was. When Nat didn’t speak, and Clint wouldn’t even look at him, he continued, “Friday? Would you please ask Bucky, Tony, and Bruce to come here? We need to have a team discussion.”

“Certainly, sir” Friday’s voice echoed throughout the now silent office. 

Nat and Steve sat in their chairs, neither one willing to be the one to budge. Not on this. When the door to Steve’s office began to open, Clint jumped to his feet and slammed it shut, jamming his chair under the door.

“Uh… What the hell?” Tony asked, his voice muffled by the door.

“Sorry Tony, I uh, I got some personal business with Cap here. Y’know. Come back later?” Clint hoped that would be the end of it.

“Tony - “ Steve started to speak but was cut off by Clint hissing at him to shut up.

“Fine! I’ll talk!” Clint whisper yelled at Steve.

“Sorry Tony, guess we’ll talk later? Can you let the others know?” Steve said, sitting forward in his chair and smiling at Clint. 

Nat turned to Clint, “Seriously?! Are you fucking kidding?” 

“This better not be some sex thing” Tony yelled, and they heard him retreat down the hall. 

Clint moved away from Nat, out of her immediate reach and turned to Steve, “I’ll tell you but you can’t tell the others.”

“Yeah, no deal. I can’t promise that” Steve shrugged, “But I can say I’ll do my best to keep private stuff, private.”

Nat muttered under her breath in Russian, and Clint’s face paled. Steve cleared his throat, and Clint sighed, sitting on the desk next to Steve. His chair was still keeping Steve’s office door firmly shut. 

“I was out yesterday and I saw [Y/N]. She was ice skating with Thor and Loki, said she was only back for a day trip. She didn’t want anyone here knowing but said I could hang with her for the day. I asked if Nat could join us, and she said fine. We hung out, she left” Clint rambled.

“So how many times have you guys seen her since she left?” Steve’s face was unreadable.

“Just this once. She hadn’t been back on planet since she left, promise.”

Steve grabbed the photo back from Clint, and pointed at Aspen, “And who is this?”

Clint turned to look at Nat and swallowed before shutting his mouth. She glared at Clint, and the two began to sign to each other in ASL rapidly. 

“Okay. Seriously, someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on” Steve was getting pissed at this point.

“We promised not to tell anyone, Steve. And she finally agreed to let us come visit her now. She’s going to kill me for you finding out” Clint sighed.

“Look. I get it. But, if this is what I think it is, this is something we have to discuss. Please, just help me out here, guys” Steve paused before pointing at Aspen again, “Who is this?”

Clint’s voice sounded defeated, “That’s Aspen. She’s [Y/N]’s daughter.”

“You mean Bucky and [Y/N]’s daughter?” Steve clarified.

“Well she didn’t outright say it, but since Aspen’s birthday was two days ago, sure seems that way. And I mean… Just look at the kid” Clint shrugged.

“Fuck.” Steve sighed.

~~~~~~

Two hours later, Steve found Bucky alone in the training room. Bucky was sitting by the weights, catching his breath from a particularly rough work out when Steve approached.

“We need to talk, Bucky.” Steve’s voice was determined as he took a seat across from Bucky.

“What do you need?” Bucky asked as he wiped the sweat off his face.

“I need you to tell me what happened the night you broke up with [Y/N]” Steve started.

Bucky sighed and brushed him off and went to get up, "Steve. We've been over this, let it go already. Seriously."

Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder and held him in the seat, his face serious, "This is important. You know I wouldn't be bugging you about this if it wasn't, I need to know everything that happened."

"What's going on?"

"Just tell me from the start. I need to know everything that happened between the two of you that night."

"Steve, seriously. What's going on." Bucky's voice was unsure, it wasn't like Steve to be this pushy on a subject like this.

When Steve said nothing, Bucky sighed and gave in, "She was getting ready, I got the alert about the mission, went in to talk to her. I told her I couldn't do it anymore, and she asked me to reconsider. Then I went on the mission."

"So, she didn't tell you anything that night? At all?" 

"What's going on?" Bucky was growing nervous, "Is she okay? You're worrying me."

Steve stayed quiet for a long moment before he spoke, "Bucky, I think [Y/N] was pregnant."

Bucky froze, looking at Steve guardedly, “Pregnant? What? No. She wasn’t pregnant? She'd have said something...”

Steve didn’t say anything aloud, just handed him a photo. He’d had Friday help him trim the photo so Clint and Nat were left out. It was just you, smiling with Aspen. 

“No. No, she. She wasn’t pregnant, Steve.” Bucky’s voice was beginning to break as he studied the photo, studied his daughter for the first time.

“You didn’t know” Steve sighed..

“I-I have a daughter?” Bucky’s eyes never left the photo, “Where is she, Steve? This looks like New York, wheres [Y/N]?”

“They left last night. From what I can gather, they only came in for the day” Steve refused to mention that Clint or Nat had seen you.

“Thor knew? This whole time? Thor knew and he didn’t tell anyone?” his metal hand tightened into a fist.

“She probably made him swear not to tell” Steve sighed, defeated.

“He should have done something! Said something!” Bucky growled, getting to his feet and storming out. In his hand, he gently carried the photo of you and Aspen.

“That went well” Steve muttered, heading to the lounge. It didn’t dawn on him that today was Wednesday, the day Thor always came for his visit. 

~~~~~~

Angry yelling drew Tony to the kitchen around noon. He rounded the corner, not quite prepared for what he saw. Thor was standing in the middle of the room, not saying a word as Bucky yelled at him. Bucky reared back and let a punch fly, hitting Thor direct in the shoulder. Bucky continued yelling at him, and all Tony could hear was your name. 

Steve came tearing around the corner, followed closely by Clint and Nat. Clint and Nat stood by Tony, watching silently as Steve raced forward, trying to grab Bucky’s arm to stop him.

“Where is she, Thor?!” Bucky yelled, his arm pulling back for another punch when Steve grabbed him. 

Bucky struggled to get out of Steve’s grasp, the hurt and betrayal overriding everything. Steve wouldn’t let go though and stepped in between the two of them. Thor still had yet to move, not defending himself or moving to attack. Bucky ripped his arm out of Steve’s grasp and stepped back away from Thor, his metal hand balling up into a tight fist again. For a long moment, no one moved.

“You need to take me to her.” Bucky’s voice was hard.

“I’m sorry Bucky. I won’t go against her wishes.” Thor’s voice was tired. He was tired of lying, tired of hiding, but you were his sister and you’d asked. 

“That’s my daughter, Thor. You can’t keep me from her!” 

“[Y/N] is Aspen’s mother. She gets to make the decisions, Bucky.” Thor sighed

“Aspen?” the fight seemed to drain out of Bucky as he repeated her name. The memories of that weekend slammed back to him. He could still remember the taste of your lips as he kissed you for the first time to really sell your identity, or at least that’s what he’d said when he finally kissed you.

“Please Thor… I need to fix this” Bucky’s voice was soft, a whispered plea. 

~~~~~~

You were in the indoor training arena with Lady Sif, trying to forget about yesterday. It had been great to see Clint and Nat again, but they were the past. Aspen and your life here on Asgard was the future, and you needed to remember that. 

You narrowly dodged Lady Sif’s attack. You’d been too caught up in your thoughts again, and she’d almost gotten the drop on you. You spun to face her again and stopped dead at the sight before you. Someone was standing in the entrance, and your heart began to pound as you recognized them.

“Bucky..”


	7. When Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to face the past. What will you find?

Sif whirled to face Bucky, and realization dawned on her face. In the last year, you’d told her everything about what had happened and who Bucky was to you. She was the only one you confided in about how much you missed him, and what you wouldn’t give for him to be a part of your daughter’s life.

“I’ll give you some space” she smiled softly at you, her voice dropping as she continued, “And I’ll make sure Aspen’s okay.”

“Tell Thor I’m not mad” you sighed. This day had been coming for a while, you couldn’t ask him to hide it forever. You owed him for keeping it as long as he had honestly. Your eyes never left Bucky, he hadn’t moved from the door.

Sif brushed past him on her way out, and it seemed to break his spell. You watched anxiously as he approached, and your arms itched to cover yourself. It was always warm in the indoor arena so you’d taken to training in a sports bra and booty shorts since they didn’t restrict your movement. It had taken yourself a while to become comfortable in your skin after having Aspen, and you’d been nervous about showing off your stretch marks. However, all it had taken was the Warriors Three complimenting you on your new battle scars as they called them to make you decide to own them. 

He stopped a few feet from you, studying every little thing about you, and you reached your hand up to brush a lock of hair out of your face. You could see new scars on him, and he looked like he hadn’t slept well in months. Minutes passed as you waited for him to talk, but he made no move to break the silence.

Finally, you caved first. “Either we need to talk or I need to get back to training, your choice Barnes.”

When he still didn’t speak, you grabbed a dulled practice sword off the wall and tossed it to him before grabbing one for yourself. You’d become fascinated with them during your stay, and with the help of Sif and the Warriors Three, it hadn’t taken you long to realize you were a natural with it. Nowadays it was always the first weapon you reached for. For your last birthday, Thor and Loki had commissioned a gorgeous sword made just for you, and it was your most prized possession.

You began to stretch and go through your usual warm-up routine. Bucky had begun to do the same and you watched out of the corner of your eye. You’d always found him attractive, and that hadn’t changed even after the time apart. 

As you got into position to start, you wished you were wearing anything else. Sure, this outfit was great for the heat and unrestricted movement but it wasn’t exactly protective. While the practice swords were dulled, the scar on your upper left arm proved that they could still leave their mark. When Bucky copied your position, the fight began.

You began to circle him, holding your sword out in front of you. If your opponent had been any of the Warriors Three, you’d have been laughing and showing off with them by now. This fight felt different, serious. You had something to prove, and you were going to win. 

Bucky matched your steps as you two slowly circled, and you realized once again you’d have to be the first to move. You quickly swung your blade towards his chest, and the fight began. He blocked you easily, and your eyes narrowed as you went on the offensive. Your attacks flew at him, and he blocked you every time. 

Twisting your fingers, you began to summon a small force field as you would have if you were fighting any of the others. You quickly shook your head though, determined to win this fight fair and square, no dirty tricks, no powers. You could do this, you had to do this. After a few minutes of him fending off your attacks, you realized he wasn’t fighting back, not really.

“Damn it. Fight me!” he was too distracted by your voice that he missed his block, and you were able to land a blow on his arm. 

A thin trace of red began to leak through his shirt, and it seemed to snap him out of it. Finally, you were getting the fight you deserved as he came after you. The clash of steel echoed through the arena and a grim smile found its way onto your face. For the first time, Bucky was in your element. You were in charge here, and you’d make sure he knew it. 

The fight dragged on longer than it should have, and you could see him beginning to tire. Apparently, being a super-soldier didn’t prevent sleep deprivation from getting to him and it was giving you the upper hand. You feigned right but swung left and Bucky was too slow to stop you, allowing you to send the blade flying from his grasp.

Quickly, you swung your sword, placing the tip at his throat, and winning the fight. Your breathing was heavy as you stared down the practice sword at him, and waited for him to yield. 

“I’m so sorry, doll” his voice was soft, pleading.

“No. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just apologize, Bucky!” your voice broke as you said his name, tears beginning to well in your eyes. 

You dropped your sword to your side and began to walk away. Before you’d even made it two steps though, he’d grabbed your arm and pulled you tight against his chest. For a long moment, you didn’t move, his arms wrapped securely around you. The familiar smell of him was what broke you in the end, and you grabbed him tight as your tears began to fall. 

~~~~~~

Lady Sif found Thor, Loki, and Aspen all waiting in your quarters. As she entered, they both glanced quickly at the door, relaxing when they saw it wasn’t you. Loki was distracting Aspen, using his magic to make her toys float around her and she was clapping happily. Thor looked like a nervous wreck, and Lady Sif took a seat next to him.

“I told her I’d come check on Aspen” she explained before turning to Thor, “She asked me to pass a message to you though.”

“How mad is she?” he hated the idea that you’d be furious with him, but he had to believe he’d made the right choice. 

Sif rested her hand on his arm, “She specifically asked me to tell you that she’s not mad, Thor.” 

His eyes flew to hers, “Truly? She’s not angry?” 

Sif smiled back at him, “I swear. She’s not mad you, just relax. The two of them have needed to talk this out for much too long.”

Loki flinched slightly at her words and muttered an apology before slipping out of the room, leaving them to care for Aspen. 

~~~~~~

When your tears finally subsided, you forced yourself to step back out of Bucky’s arms. For a moment, you weren’t sure he was going to let you go but eventually, his hold loosened. You picked up his training sword and returned them both to the rack before turning to face him again.

This time you didn’t have to wait long for him to speak, “Doll, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were pregnant. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why? So you’d convince yourself to stay so we could get married? I was going to tell you that night, but instead, you surprised me and told me you didn’t love me. Why the hell would I want to tell you I was pregnant after that?”

“Because I love you, doll! I would have stayed, I would have fought for you, for us. You have to know I’d never have left you if I had known.”

“That’s the problem, Bucky. The truth is you weren’t in love with me. The fact that you’re only saying it now that you know about Aspen proves I made the right choice. You’d have felt obligated to stay, and we deserve better. Besides, you’d only have resented us.”

“That’s not fair, [Y/N] and you know it.” his voice was like gravel, and he reached to grab your hands, but you pulled away before he could.

“Bucky. You told me, to my face, on our anniversary, that you couldn’t keep pretending to love me. The only explanation you’d give me? That all you had left was darkness. That’s what I know.” 

“Please don’t shut me out. Please, doll. Let me make it up to you. I love you, and I need you” you could hear the earnestness in his voice but all you remembered was the chill in his voice that night.

“Then tell me why you ended it. Tell me what went wrong, and let’s be adults here. Talk to me, Bucky” your voice was soft, and you prayed that he’d tell you, maybe the two of you could fix it after all.

Bucky didn’t speak, and you let the moment draw out before you nodded once to yourself. You’d suspected that would be his answer, but it killed you inside to know that he wouldn’t just tell you the truth, not even now.

You paused to take a breath before speaking, “Bucky, if you want to be a part of Aspen’s life, I won’t begrudge you that. It’s probably good for her to know her father. It’s going to be on my terms though. We’re not living together. Aspen will be living with me, and we’ll go visit you. I’m not sending her to visit you without me, at least not until she’s older.”

“Don’t you trust me, Doll?” his voice broke.

You longed to grab him and never let him go, but life was no longer just about you. It killed you inside that it had come to this, that you were on different sides now. You had no choice though, Aspen came first now, and she always would.

"No, Bucky, I don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have officially finished writing this series so I will continue to post one chapter a day!


	8. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meets Aspen for the first time.

Bucky nodded slowly, “Guess I deserve that…” 

“Would you…” You swallowed the lump in your throat, “Are you ready to meet Aspen?”

His eyes flashed to meet yours, “Yeah. Are you sure it’s okay with you?”

You could hear the nerves in his voice, the fingers on his metal arm fidgeting. Your hand twitched, reaching to grab and settle him, your body forgetting for a moment that you no longer had a claim to him, no reason to touch him. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. Come on…” 

He fell into step beside you as you lead him back to your suite. The two of you said nothing to each other, both too afraid to speak. You’d almost reached your room when you heard a quiet squeak behind you. You shoved Bucky to the side, catching a hard leather ball that flew right past where he’d been moments before. 

You whirled, throwing the ball right back into the face of Volstagg. He snagged it out of the air with a laugh and you rolled your eyes as you stared down the Warriors Three, your hands on your hips. You did your best to look stern for a long moment before a grin split your face, forgetting for a moment that Bucky was with you.

“What’d we say about playing inside?” you asked, using what they called your ‘mom voice’.

“Sorry, [Y/N]. Couldn’t help it this time” his warm laugh echoed down the hall, “I was hoping you’d be too distracted.”

“Maybe you should focus on being a little quieter. Your shoe squeaked” you shrugged.

Volstagg cursed playfully and winked at you, “Maybe you should focus on your man there.”  
You flinched slightly, turning to look at Bucky as they reminded you he was there. He was watching the Warriors Three, a look on his face that you couldn’t figure out. While you were distracted, trying to figure out Bucky’s face, Volstagg decided to take advantage of the situation again. You didn’t even notice the leather ball coming for you, but Bucky did. He snagged the ball out of the air and passed it back to you.

You shot him a small smile, turning back to the Warriors Three and tossing the ball to Hogun, “Sorry guys, but Bucky and I need to go. I won’t be at training later tonight either.” 

You ignored their curious whispers and continued the walk to your suite, it took Bucky a moment to catch up to you. As soon as you were out of their sight, you let out a heavy sigh and a frown slipped back into place on your face. Bucky gently grabbed your arm, stopping.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice soft.

“Don’t worry about it” you sighed and he merely cocked an eyebrow, waiting. Finally, you continued, “It’s going to be all over that you’re here within the hour. Those three are not good at keeping secrets like that.”

Bucky frowned, “Is that a problem?”

You shook your head, “Nope. Just a bit of an inconvenience. I’m going to have to answer a lot of questions now.”

“Like what?” 

“Look. I don’t exactly like talking about you, and the others didn’t want to spread that info without me. I think a lot of the people around here assumed Aspen’s dad was dead.” You muttered. You’d never agreed with the rumor, but you’d never outright denied it and it had taken on a life of its own over the years. 

Bucky let out a low breath, and you stepped back, out of his grasp. The heartbreak was clear on his face, and you couldn’t stand to look at him. You looked down, studying your feet. You’d never intended for the lie to get out of hand, let alone for him to hear it. This time you set off towards your room at a quick pace, anxious to get out of the hall and into your suite. 

You opened the door to find Thor and Sif sitting on the floor playing with Aspen. Bucky followed you in but stood just inside the door, his eyes snapping to the beautiful baby girl on the floor. Thor and Sif murmured goodbyes, and you leaned down, scooping Aspen up into your arms. 

You turned to face Bucky, heart racing as you held your little girl close, “Bucky, this is Aspen.”

He didn’t dare move a muscle. You were smiling down at your baby girl and began to make a few funny faces. Her cheerful giggle lit up the room and you swayed back and forth with her slowly. Bucky watched the two of you, his heart breaking all over again as he realized everything he’d lost. 

Seeing the devastation on Bucky’s face, you slowly walked up to him, giving him plenty of time to adjust. Aspen reached up towards Bucky’s hair when you were close and began to tug on it. Bucky stared down into Aspen’s little eyes, and she stared back up at him, her eyes the spitting image of his. 

You smiled softly at Bucky and began to pass Aspen to him. He froze, unsure what to do and stared at you, eyes pleading for help. Quickly, you adjusted him to have a better grip on her so she was sitting comfortably in his arms. You squeezed his arm once in reassurance and watched as father and daughter studied each other for the first time.

~~~~~~

A few hours later, Bucky was laying on your floor playing with Aspen. You were sitting in your favorite chair, watching. It felt like someone had stabbed you in the heart, watching him with Aspen. He was still nervous around her, but it was clear he was a natural and the fact that you had kept them apart for so long was killing you. 

He’d missed so much because of everything. He’d missed Aspen’s first smile, first words, first steps, first birthday. He’d missed so many milestones that he could never get back, and while you still were upset about the breakup, you resolved to make a friendship with him. If only for Aspen’s sake. 

“How long are you here for?” you asked quietly. You’d changed back into your normal clothes, and you began to pick at the hem of your shirt, anxious.

He sat up, turning to you with a small frown“I don’t know. I didn’t really discuss anything before I made Thor bring me here.” 

“Well, if you’re staying the night, Thor can have a guest room set up for you” you took a nervous breath before continuing, “Or you can sleep on my couch if you want to stay closer…”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” 

“It’s fine, Bucky. But if you wake Aspen when she’s asleep, I’ll kill you” you fell silent as six bells chimed through the castle and you got to your feet, turning to him, “Come on, it’s supper time.”

~~~~~~

Bucky followed you into the dining hall nervously. You’d let him carry Aspen, hoping that it would help him feel a bit better. So far, it seemed to be working as he only looked mildly panicked. You shot him a reassuring smile and led the way over to the table you always shared with Thor, Loki, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three. 

You caught Thor’s nervous glance at you, and you smiled softly at him. Bucky watched you curiously as you approached Thor, hoping you honestly weren’t mad at him for helping. You leaned over the sitting Thor and pecked him on the forehead once. He shot you a grateful grin in return. 

You took your usual seat next to Loki and slowly conversation at the table returned to normal as everyone dug into the meal. Bucky sat there quietly watching you laugh and joke with the family you’d made here. He frowned deeply, his eyes narrowing, as you teased Loki, bumping him with a playful smirk. 

During dinner, you spoke to Thor and Bucky and decided that in two days, you’d visit Midgard again with Aspen. It was time to stop hiding and face the team you’d left behind. Until then, Bucky would be staying in your room so he could spend more time with Aspen. You’d figure out a proper visitation schedule after your trip to Midgard, but you really wanted to try and be fair to Bucky.

~~~~~~

Later that evening, after you’d put Aspen down for the night, you and Bucky sat in your lounge. You poured him a cup of hot tea and grabbed your own, curling the fingers around the warm ceramic mug.

He murmured a small thank you, taking the mug from you, “You drink tea now?”  
You grinned, “They don’t have coffee here, I’ve had to adjust. It’s a little bitter but if you add honey, it’s not half bad actually.”

A few moments passed, the quiet wasn’t uncomfortable this time. “It’s up to you what you want to do tomorrow. In the mornings, I train with Sif and the afternoons I train with the Warriors Three, Thor, or Loki. You’re welcome to join me or stay here with Aspen” 

Part of you worried that he would take Aspen and run. Logically, you knew even if he did, he wouldn’t make it far since he couldn’t leave Asgard. While the man you’d known and fallen for would never do that, you weren’t quite sure about this guy in front of you now. The Bucky you knew would have never said he didn’t love you, would have never pushed you away, lied to you or hidden things from you.

“Would it be alright if I brought Aspen to watch you train? I don’t know who watches her or if she’s allowed or…” he trailed off, unsure.

You smiled softly, “That’s fine. Usually, Loki or Thor helps me watch her, sometimes Lady Sif if I’m desperate. Loki can help set up a corner of the arena completely safe, my shields still aren’t strong enough to last that long!”

He frowned, looking down at the mug in his hand, “Sounds like Loki and you are close…”

“Yeah, I don’t know where I’d be without him and Thor. They’ve been by my side since they found out I was pregnant. I swear Loki was more worried about my pregnancy than me” you chuckled.

“So, are you and Loki…” he trailed off and you sat up straight in your chair, eyebrows pulling together.

“Are family. Not that it is any of your business, but he is Aspen’s uncle.” your voice was hard, stubborn as you stared him down, waiting to hear what he would say next.

“[Y/N]...” Bucky began, but you cut him off with a quick raise of your hand as you got to feet. 

Your voice was a deep growl as you spoke, “No, Bucky. You don’t get to come here and judge who I spend my time with, do you understand me? Thor was there, holding my hand when Aspen came into this world. He swears I broke his hand, but he stayed the entire time. When he had to leave to go check on you lot, Loki let me cry and sleep on his shoulder. Before you go assuming things? Maybe you should shut up and look at the situation. Good night.”


	9. Fighting Fit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training brings you together, Dinner pushes you apart

You slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning until dawn began to light up the sky. You silently dressed and stepped into the lounge to make a fresh bit of tea. Seeing Bucky’s peaceful face as he slept on the too-short couch made you pause. God, you missed him.

You missed him in ways you didn’t know how to say. The way he’d light up when you’d lean in for a kiss after a long mission. The way he’d always want to be touching you, even though he pretended you were the clingy one. But what you loved the most, what you missed most of all? The early mornings in bed, the two of you laying together as the sunlight bathed the room in a warm glow, the whispered promises of what was to come, and the chance to forget for even a few minutes that life existed outside of your bedroom door. Those were the times you missed the most, and seeing the soft sunlight on his face, your chest tightened painfully.

Before you could think better of it, you slowly reached out and smoothed his hair, brushing it out of his face. You smiled sadly at him, your hand lingering against his face. Slowly he began to stir and it dawned on you what you were doing. You carefully pulled your hand away from him, but as he blinked awake he gently grabbed your hand in his. You let him, leaving it in his.

“Morning” his voice was thick, heavy with sleep. 

“Morning Buck” you whispered.

His fingers laced with yours as smiled down at him. His eyes were soft, unguarded and he smiled at you peacefully. For just a moment, you contemplated how bad it would really be to just forget for a few minutes, to let yourself indulge in the fantasy that everything was right. Aspen’s soft whimper broke the spell though, and you quickly pulled away from him, returning to your room to grab your now awake daughter.

You returned to the lounge a few minutes later, Aspen’s hands were clasped on yours, her feet on yours as you slowly shuffled back out. Bucky was wide awake now, a sad look on his face as he watched the two of you get ready for the day.

After breakfast with the others, you led the way back to the training yard. You’d had to swing back by your rooms to grab a few toys for Aspen, and by the time you’d got there Loki, Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three were already waiting for you. 

You passed Aspen over to Bucky, and with a deep sigh jogged over to the others, “I’m not going to like where this is going, am I?” 

Hogun grinned, “You may not, but we definitely shall.”

“Shouldn’t have missed training yesterday” Volstagg draped his arm over your shoulder. 

“Well that’s not fair, and you know it,” you muttered, ducking out from under Volstagg’s arm.

“Life isn’t fair” Sif laughed, throwing you your usual practice sword.

“So, how am I dying today?” you began to stretch, going through a few practice moves.

“Well, you’re going to try and defend yourself” you didn’t like the grin on Fandral’s face as he spoke, “Against all of us.”

“No, nope. Nuh-uh.” you stopped, “Not happening. Last time you idiots broke my leg, and do you know how hard it is to take care of a kid with a broken leg?”

“Come on, it’s good practice! Fights won’t always be one-on-one, [Y/N]” Sif grinned.

You smirked, “That’s right they won’t always be one-on-one. So let me pick a partner! Two of us against the rest.”

“That’ll be too easy, we’ve been fighting each other for years, it’ll defeat the whole purpose,” Thor argued.

You paused for a long moment, chewing on your lip as you thought before a grin lit up your face, “Then I pick Bucky! Then I don’t have to worry about you guys killing me, and it’s not cheating because only Thor’s really fought with him before.”

The others looked at each curiously, a silent conversation passing between them before Loki turned to you, “Fair enough, but what about Aspen?”

You muttered a curse under your breath, but before you could continue a familiar voice interrupted, “Perhaps I could watch her for a little?” Bitra offered.

Thanking her, you jogged back over to where Bucky was playing with Aspen. He hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation you’d been having and looked up at you, surprised.

“I need a favor” you started, the idea had been great but you hadn’t thought about the fact that it meant you’d have to actually fight side by side with Bucky for the first time since the breakup.

His eyebrows pulled together curiously as he studied your suddenly nervous expression, “What do you need, Doll?”

“I need a fighting partner and they said it can’t be one of them, so I was hoping you’d be willing to help?” you were bouncing lightly on the balls of your feet, half nerves, and half excitement.

Bucky got to his feet slowly, scooping up Aspen as he went, “I thought you didn’t trust me?”

You sighed softly, “Just because I don’t trust you not to break our hearts, doesn’t mean I’m not willing to trust you to have my back. I know you wouldn’t let something happen to us, okay?”

He nodded softly, “What about Aspen?”

Bitra had followed you over, and you quickly introduced them. Once Bitra had taken the little one from Bucky, she took up a seat on the edge of the room out of the way of any potential magic or weapons that could come flying. Bucky followed you back to the group and after a quiet round of introductions as Bucky warmed up, it was time to fight. The group had agreed that the two of you didn’t have to truly beat everyone to win, you just had to keep the fight going for ten minutes and for that you were eternally grateful. 

You tossed Bucky the other practice sword, a nervous grin on your face and turned to watch the others. It didn’t take long before the two of you were in the thick of it, making sure to stay close to one another at all times. Loki began to throw energy blasts your way, and your focus was split trying to block Sif’s blow and send a small force field to block Loki’s blast when you felt a familiar hand wrap around your arm. Bucky pulled you out of the way of Volstagg’s blow, and you shot him a grateful smile, throwing another force field at Loki as he tried to send a blast flying at Bucky. You fell into your old rhythm in no time, fighting around each other like you were a single person.

By the time seven minutes had passed, you and Bucky were breathing hard. Sure you could both hold your own during battle, but you were outnumbered three-to-one by some of Asgard’s best fighters. You’d managed to land some good blows though, Loki had taken a spill against the nearby wall when your last shield had hit him while he was distracted. 

When nine minutes rolled around, you were seriously drained. You’d used your powers too much, too fast and it had sapped a lot of your energy. With one last push, Thor and Hogun managed to separate you and Bucky. Cursing, the two of you fought to get back to one another. Right when Bitra called for time, Volstagg swung low, landing a heavy blow on your leg. You reacted without thinking, sending a force field into him, knocking him down and across the room. 

You were cursing loudly, unable to put any weight on your leg. Bucky began to head your way, planning on letting you lean on him, but Loki beat him there. Loki wrapped his arm around you, supporting your weight and holding you close. Bucky frowned and stood back, watching as you smiled at Loki, the two of you headed to the infirmary after a mumbled discussion with Thor and Bitra.

~~~~~~

At dinner that evening, Volstagg had apologized to you. He hadn’t realized that was the leg that had been broken previously. You’d let him sweat for a little while before you told him it was okay, the leg wasn’t re-broken just seriously bruised. You’d be fine in a day or two, so no hard feelings.

Bucky was quiet through dinner, even more so than yesterday. At first, you had brushed it off as just being tired, but it didn’t take you long to realize he got a little more upset every time your arm brushed against Loki’s or you laughed at him. Your eyes narrowed at the realization, and after testing your theory a few times you were sure. He didn’t react when you were touchier with Sif, Volstagg or Thor, but Bucky was being a sullen ass every time you were friendly with Loki.

When Bucky was distracted with Aspen, you leaned in close to Loki’s ear, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, “Play along.”

Loki shot you a curious glance, and the game was afoot. You quickly became more hands-on with Loki, gentle touches here and there as you spoke, soft laughter at even his stupidest jokes. The rest of your table began to shoot you worried looks, and once you were sure Bucky wasn’t looking and the others were, you nodded your head once towards Bucky then winked. Smiles crept onto their faces as they began to understand what was going on. 

Fifteen minutes later, you reached out and played with Loki’s hand. Bucky got to his feet quickly and muttered he wasn’t feeling good, before passing Aspen to you and heading out. 

Lady Sif turned to you as soon as he was gone, “So, what was that all about?”

“Bucky’s being an ass” you shrugged, “I realized every time I basically talked to Loki he got more upset, so I figured I’d teach him a lesson. He needs to knock it off. He has no claim over me, not after what he did. Besides, if he’d listen to me, he’d know that we’re nothing more than siblings.”

“You know, you could tell him that you’re legally their sister” Fandrall offered.

A few months back, the three of you had decided to make your sibling relationship legal since you were all so close. Well, Thor had decided and convinced you and Loki, to be fair, it hadn’t taken long to convince either of you. You’d been feeling out of place at the time, and it had been Thor’s idea to make sure you knew you were permanently welcomed to the family. You had no claim to the throne or anything crazy like that, but as far as everyone was now concerned, you were their sister.

“I could” you smiled wryly, “Or, I could teach him a lesson about trust. Besides, not like he doesn't deserve just a little pain..."


	10. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to face what you left behind in New York

An hour or so after Bucky raced out, you strolled into your room, Aspen sleeping against your chest. You’d tried to get Loki to walk you back to your room, but he’d refused. No matter how hard you’d asked, he’d refused. Honestly, Loki had been acting odd around you ever since Bucky came to Asgard and you weren’t sure why? Loki seemed more wary around you, and whenever he could, he would leave the room when Bucky walked in. 

You opened your door to find it empty. You pulled your eyebrows together as you looked around, trying to figure out where Bucky would be if not here. As you laid Aspen down in her bed, you spotted Bucky standing out on the balcony, looking out over the cold, dark world. You grabbed a blanket off the chair and stepped outside to join him.

Bucky didn’t turn to look at you, his gaze searching something out in the distance as he leaned on the railing. You said nothing as you joined him, standing close enough to touch. You could see the regret and sadness in his eyes, and it felt like someone had stabbed you. You’d never wanted to really hurt him, just upset him a little. Maybe it would hurt a little less being where you are now if you could just make him a little bothered, but you’d never wanted to be the reason for that look on his face.

“I’m sorry” he refused to look at you.

“I know” you shivered as a cold breeze blew past.

“I shouldn’t be jealous. I know. After everything… I know. But I never knew it would hurt so bad” his soft laugh was humorless, “I’d rather you pick anyone else, literally. But I get it…”

You sighed, “Bucky, look, I don’t need to defend myself but I need you to know, I’m not. I mean, I’m not picking Loki. Loki and I? We’re friends. Hell, he’s my brother, okay? There’s nothing there.”

“I just want you to be happy” he whispered, turning to look at you for the first time.

“Then tell me the truth about that night, Bucky. Please” your voice was low, begging. 

It was so easy to forget that Bucky had ever broken your heart when he looked at you like that. His sad smile and the moonlight reflecting in his eyes captivated you. He said nothing, and a long moment passed before you moved. You draped the blanket you’d brought out with you around his shoulders and headed inside.

~~~~~~

The next day, you’d packed a small backpack for you and Aspen and were waiting anxiously at the Bifrost with Bucky, Loki, and Thor as Heimdall finished his end. Loki had tried to back out of going on the trip, but you’d begged and if there was one thing that he’d always cave to, it was your pleading. Thor rested his hand on your shoulder and shot you a small smile as you tightened your grip on Aspen. And then, you were there, back on Earth.

Your stomach rolled as nerves took over, you weren’t looking forward to this reunion. While you at least didn’t have to worry about Nat and Clint, what was Steve going to say? Tony? Banner? Thor had asked Heimdall to drop you just outside the city again, giving you time to adjust to the craziness of New York before you had to meet back with your old team. 

The trip to the tower passed relatively quickly. You’d spoken to no one but Aspen, doing your best to keep her entertained during the hour commute. At one point, Bucky’d reached out to take her, thinking it might help you. You’d merely pulled her a little closer and turned to face away from him, she was your only lifeline and the only thing keeping you relatively calm right now. There were too many people and too many sounds. You longed for the relative peacefulness of Asgard as you waited to arrive, wondering how you’d ever lived here to begin with.

The elevator doors opened on the top floor, and you forced yourself to walk out into the main room. It was early evening, meaning the others were all just sitting down to dinner. You’d asked Friday not to tell them you were coming, and it meant that for just a moment you got to see everyone back in their element. Clint was joking around with Steve, and Bruce and Tony were talking fast, surely about the new project they were working on.

Thor, Loki, and Bucky stood behind you. They knew you needed to be the one to go first, so they’d wait with you as long as it took. You were taking a shuddering breath, preparing to step forward and let them know you were here when Steve looked up and caught your eye. He froze, looking down at Aspen before up to you and over to Bucky. It didn’t take long before the others had realized something was going on and noticed you as well.

“Hey, guys” you cleared your throat, “Long time, no see?”

“Hey [Y/N]” Nat smiled softly at you.

Clint raced over to you, sweeping you and Aspen up in a big hug, “How are you?”

You laughed at Clint’s antics and hugged him back with one arm before stepping back, “I’m good - We’re good.” you looked at Steve, Tony and Bruce before continuing, “This is Aspen. My - our - daughter.” 

Bucky shot you a grateful smile as you called Aspen ‘our daughter’, and you flashed him a quick smile in return. You’d meant it when you said you didn’t want to keep him from his daughter, and that meant you wouldn’t shy away from admitting he was the dad, even though you’d become so accustomed to always just calling her yours. 

“You guys hungry?” Steve asked, motioning to the table full of food behind him, “We never know how much to cook anymore, never know who's going to be here or on a mission, so we usually make a lot.”

~~~~~~

Over dinner, you’d caught up with the group. You had been worried they’d treat you differently or you’d feel like the odd one out, but it was like you’d never left. Even after everything, even after all the time apart, it felt like coming home. Sure, you loved how your life was now but you’d missed this. It had always felt like something was missing, and here among your old team, you realized it was this. Pulling pranks with Clint, teasing Tony about his latest creation, talking about anything and everything with Bruce, and hearing Nat’s stories. 

As the evening wore on, Aspen fell asleep in your arms and you asked if there was somewhere you two could sleep for the night. Bucky began to lead you down familiar halls until you realized where you were headed. As soon as it dawned on you, you stopped in your tracks and looked at him, shaking your head quickly. Staring down the hall, only a few doors down was the old room you had shared with Bucky. 

“I can’t go there Bucky” you whispered, “Please?”

He paused for a moment, “What about that one?” he pointed to the room across the hall from his own and you hesitated for a long moment before you nodded.

You slowly settled Aspen on the bed, smiling down at her peacefully sleeping. You turned to find Bucky staring at Aspen. No, not starting at Aspen, his eyes were on you. You ducked your head slightly, blushing gently as he smiled at you. He nodded his head towards the open door and you followed him out into the hallway.

“Thank you, [Y/N]. I’m glad you came back.”

“I’m not back, Bucky. I told you, Aspen and I are only visiting” you reminded him, frowning.

“I know” he nodded, “But it means a lot that you’re willing to visit at all.”

“Like I said, I want you to be a part of Aspen’s life and considering where we each live, well, we’re both going to do some traveling.”

The two of you were like magnets, always gravitating towards one another, and as you stood in the hall, halfway between your past and future, it was like you couldn’t stay apart. His hands found yours slowly, and you traced the ridges in the cold metal with your fingertips. Neither of you spoke. 

You were looking down at his hand in yours, but when you looked up into his face you couldn’t help the small hitch in your breath. He was smiling at you with a lopsided grin, his eyes darkening as he slowly leaned in towards you, waiting to see what you’d do. 

Despite yourself, you’d begun to lean in towards him. The light sound of approaching footsteps brought you to your senses just in time to spring away from Bucky, out of his reach as Loki rounded the corner. Bucky cursed under his breath and watched as you and Loki hugged before he retreated into his room, leaving the two of you alone. You spared a quick glance at Bucky’s door before retreating back into your room and locking the door. 

You’d almost kissed Bucky, almost given in to him. For a moment, you’d forgotten why you were here, maybe fifteen feet from the bed you’d shared with him. Cursing yourself, you fell into bed and a night of restless sleep, dreaming of Bucky.

~~~~~~

The next morning, Loki had awoken you at dawn by slipping into your room. He told you he was needed back in Asgard and since you were doing okay, he felt fine leaving you with just Thor to watch your back. As he opened the door to leave, you’d wrapped him in a tight hug and kissed his cheek, thanking him for being there for you, again.

You were just settling back into bed when you heard a low thud and raised voices in the hall. Slipping your favorite dagger from its place on your calf, you cautiously slipped out the door. You shut the door behind you and turned, freezing at the sight in front of you. Bucky had Loki pinned tight against the wall, his metal arm pressing against his throat.

“What? I wasn’t good enough for her but YOU are?” Bucky snarled, pressing harder on Loki’s throat. 

Loki made no move to fight back, “It’s not what you think. It wasn’t supposed to be like this!”

You quickly returned your blade to its holster and threw your arms apart, shields slamming the two of them apart and pinning them to opposite walls. Quickly, you stepped between them, eyes flashing in anger as you maintained your shields.

Your voice was low and dangerous as you spoke, “Start talking. I’m done playing games and being played with.”


	11. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to hear the truth.

Loki’s face paled as your shield pushed both of them further against the wall. Bucky winced, refusing to meet your gaze. You looked back and forth between the two of them, your eyes harsh.

“Bucky, what the hell is going on?” your voice was a low growl as you scowled at him.

“It’s not what you think, Doll… Just let us go and we can talk about this” he spoke softly, placating.

You hesitated before releasing the shields around them, and instead sent the fields down the hall in both directions, trapping the three of you together, “I’m not letting these down until you both tell me the truth.”

The two men shared a quick glance before Bucky turned to you with a sigh, “I don’t know how to start…”

“The beginning is usually a good place.”

“Okay, well, um,” he took a deep breath, “Doll, when I came back from the last mission before we… before I dumped you, you were ignoring me. I hadn’t really seen you for a week. And one night, I was getting drinking with Clint and Loki came by” he shot the other man a glare before turning back to you, “And he told me. He told me I wasn’t enough, and that you had started to realize I was too dark, and you were too light. You were going to break up with me, and I didn’t want you to have that on you… I didn’t want you to feel guilty.”

“James. Buchanan. Barnes.” your voice was sharp and low, “Are you telling me right now that you broke my heart because I ignored you that week?”

He nodded once and you slowly turned to face Loki. Your hands balled in tight fights, a storm brewing within you as you looked at him. You took one slow step towards him, your powers raging within you and it was a battle for you to control them.

Loki put his hands up slowly, “It’s not as bad as it sounds, sister” he sounded like he was attempting to placate a rabid wolf, but you caught the way he glanced at Bucky quickly when he called you sister, something he did sparingly.

Bucky’s head snapped to Loki, “Sister?”

Ignoring Bucky, you raised an eyebrow, your voice was darker now than before, enough to make even Loki flinch as you spoke, “Explain.” 

“[Y/N] this isn’t what was supposed to happen.” you waited impatiently for him to continue and after a moment, he did, “It was supposed to be a prank. He was supposed to get upset, and then come talk to you and he’d feel like an ass and everything would be alright. How was I supposed to know he’d break up with you?”

For a moment, the only sound in the hall was your ragged breath as everything pieced together. All those moments that Loki had acted off, the look on his face when you were pregnant, all of it suddenly came flashing back to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky begin to race towards Loki and you flung out your shields again, returning both men to their trapped places against the wall.

Bucky was snarling and fighting against the shield, trying to get to Loki. The look on his face was a mix of pure desperation and hatred. It was a look you hadn’t seen on his face in a long time, and you weren’t glad to see it back.

“So, let me get this straight” you whispered, “the reason I had my heart broken, and my daughter has grown up without her father is because you” you looked at Loki, “convinced my fiancé that I was going to break up with him, and you” you turned to Bucky, “decided to break up with me first? Instead of talking to me?”

Both men nodded slowly and you bit your lip. Tears began to well up in your eyes, slowly beginning to track down your cheeks. You’d lost everything, and you’d just been a pawn in a little game you had known nothing about. You forced yourself to take a few shuddering breaths and swallow the lump in your throat.

“Loki, I don’t ever want to see you again.” your voice was soft now, as you released him from the shield trapping him and removed the ones at the ends of the hall. 

By the time you turned to Bucky, Loki was long gone. The hatred was gone from his face, leaving behind only devastation. He struggled against the shield again, trying to reach out to you and you took a step back from him, your hand reaching up to rub at your face as you closed your eyes.

“I guess you were right, Bucky” your voice broke as you looked back up at him.

“Doll, what do you mean?” he spoke quietly, a whisper you could barely hear.

“You really didn’t love me.” you laughed bitterly, “Not at all.”

“That’s not true, [Y/N]. I love you, I’ve never stopped loving you. Please, we can fix this” he ached to reach out and take you in his arms, but he was still trapped by your shield.

“Bucky. If you had loved me at all, you would have come to me. We could have talked this out… If you loved me at all, we wouldn’t be here.” you whispered, sinking down to sit against your bedroom door.

You released the shield trapping him, quickly throwing up one around you and the door to your room. Bucky raced to the edge of the shield, trying desperately to reach you but with all the training you’d done since you’d left, you were stronger than ever and even he couldn’t reach you. 

You closed your eyes, resting your head against the door as your thoughts raced. Bucky kept trying to speak to you, but you zoned him out as you tried to figure out what to do next. Five minutes passed, although it felt like hours before you opened your eyes again. Bucky was leaning against the shield, trying desperately to talk to you as you slowly got to your feet. 

The shield pushed him, trapping him in that side of the hallway as you quickly dressed in your room before stepping back out into the hall. Bucky was still trying to speak to you, and you heard nothing. Not anymore. 

“Bucky” your voice was raspy, and you paused to clear it before you continued, “Aspen and I are leaving tonight. I meant what I said. I want you to be a part of her life, but I can’t be around you. I’m going out for the day. If you want to spend the day with her, you can do so. Otherwise, I’ll send Nat or Clint or someone to come get her.”

You finally turned to look at Bucky, meeting his eyes for the first time since you’d found out the truth. What you saw broke what was still standing of your heart. The desperation in his eyes as he fought for you, fought to get to you, it hurt. But not as much as knowing he didn’t come to you, that you were here because he listened to Loki. 

Loki’s betrayal… that stung almost as much as Bucky’s. You’d defended him to everyone, argued that he’d turned over a new leaf. Over time, you’d come to trust him and he was your family. The more you thought about it, the more you began to wonder if everything he’d done had been out of some sense of guilt. Only, instead of coming clean so the mess could be fixed, he’d allowed you to suffer. Allowed Aspen to pay the price for his sins. 

“I’ll be back for Aspen tonight” you whispered, retreating down the hall, “Spend the day with her…”

As you went, the shield followed until it stopped at the end of the hall, trapping him. It would release as soon as you left the tower, but it made sure he would have to leave you alone until you came back. You’d have to send someone to check and make sure he had Aspen, but you had to believe he would want to spend the day with her. You weren’t sure when you’d be able to face him again.

In the common room, everyone was laughing and joking around. It was clear they were in high spirits at your return and it only made your heart clench tighter. You ignored everyone, walking straight into Thor and grabbing onto him tightly as you began to cry. The silence that fell was deafening as Thor wrapped you tightly in his arms, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to go home, but where was home? 

Back in the hallway you’d left behind, Bucky had retreated to your room. Aspen was still sleeping, and he slowly sank down onto the floor, leaning back against the bed. His eyes slowly sank closed as he remembered the hellish week that led here, wishing he could take it all back. 

~~Four Days Before Your Last Anniversary~~

Bucky had arrived home from a mission a few days before, and it had been a hard one. You’d been needed on a separate mission with Clint, so Bucky had been sent with Sam and Steve to get info on a hydra base without you. Unfortunately, the mission had gone sideways and people had gotten hurt, and Bucky was blaming himself. 

To make matters worse, you’d been almost avoiding him and he couldn’t figure out why for the life of him. The only time he really saw you was when the two of you crawled into bed together at night, otherwise, it seemed like you were always out with Nat, never having time for him. You were always quick to smile and blow him a kiss when you passed by, but that was it. 

Clint had convinced Bucky to come watch tv with him, and the two had decided to turn it into a drinking game. Clint was beginning to enjoy showing Bucky his favorite old shows, and today was no exception. He had just turned on the next episode of ‘Wipeout’ and the two had settled in when Loki stormed in from the kitchen, dripping wet and holding a kitchen towel. Loki’s hair was plastered to his head, his shirt soaked through, and Bucky couldn’t help but snort at the look on his face. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Loki snarled, his face twisted in anger as he glared at Clint. 

Clint barely held in his laughter, although even he couldn’t contain a small grin, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Bucky and I are just hanging out so… Wanna join?”

“You’re telling me the sink just magically started spraying water out at me when I turned the faucet on and you had nothing to do with it?” Water was beginning to drip down from Loki’s face and Bucky could no longer contain his laughter. 

“You’re the magic man, Loki. I’m assuming you’d know better than I” Clint shrugged playfully. 

Before Loki could respond, a loud crash followed by Natasha screaming for Clint interrupted. Clint’s eyes grew wide and he raced out of the room right as a dripping wet Nat came around the corner. Loki pointed after Clint, and Nat took off after him, leaving Loki and Bucky alone.

“Where’s [Y/N]? Aren’t you two normally joined at the hip?” Loki growled, drying his hair with the towel.

“I dunno. Thought she was with Nat…” Bucky sighed, “Guess she’s just busy.” 

Truth be told, he was starting to worry you were angry at him. You weren’t acting like it, but normally you wouldn’t leave his side for at least a day or two after separate missions. After a bad mission, the two of you were usually never apart for longer than an hour for a while, so your sudden absence stung. 

“Maybe she’s just tired of you” Loki suggested, pausing to stare at him pointedly before continuing, “I mean, you did get people killed on the last mission. And sometimes you still have nightmares that wake the whole floor. She’s a good person, never killed someone who didn’t deserve it and she isn’t haunted by her past all the time. She’s probably just realized that she deserves better.”

Loki strolled out before Bucky could respond, knowing he’d planted the seed of doubt. He waited until he was around the corner and out of sight before he began to smirk. Bucky tried to ignore his words, knowing Loki had a silver tongue, but it all sounded so… plausible. This had been his fear since the start, that someday soon you’d figure out what he truly was and want out. How could he fault you for not wanting to be with a monster like him? 

Over the next few days, the thoughts began to fester in his mind, and his thoughts began to race. At first, he planned on talking to you and straightening things out but as the days passed with hardly any time with you, he began to wonder if you really were planning on breaking up with him. By the time your anniversary rolled around a few days later, he’d made up his mind.

~~Present Day~~

Two hours after you fled the tower, you were sitting on a park bench in Queens with Thor. You’d explained everything to him, and the two of you were now sitting in silence, your head on his shoulder and his arm around you. You’d cried yourself out at some point, and now you didn’t know what to do.

Steve and Nat had offered to keep an eye on Aspen until you came back, so you knew she was safe but that didn’t stop your worry. You’d never left her alone with the Avengers, and while you trusted them, it still made you nervous. They’d sworn she’d be safe though, and you hadn’t wanted to deny Bucky another day with her, not when you weren’t sure how or when he’d get to see her again. 

“I’m sorry about Loki” he sighed, pulling you closer.

“I know” you mumbled, staring out at the sky above.

“He really is the worst brother.”

You snorted softly, curling into him, “Understatement of the century right there.”

“I guess this means you’re really family” he laughed humorlessly, and when you looked over at him confused, he continued, “It’s what Loki does. He hurts us, and he’ll do it again and again and sometimes I think he tries to do better, but then, things like this happen.”

The two of you sat on that park bench, watching as the sunlight faded into dusk and finally evening before you got to your feet. It was time to go home, but first, you had to stop and collect Aspen. Hopefully, Bucky wouldn’t try to fight you and you’d be able to get home so you could sleep for a week, or, as long as Aspen let you really. 

When you arrived back at the tower, Steve, Nat, Clint, and Bucky were all in the common room with Aspen. The tower felt quiet, subdued, and you just wanted to leave. When you entered, Bucky slowly picked up Aspen and kissed her on the forehead. He said nothing to you as he handed her over. You could see it in his red-rimmed eyes, the pain and longing, but you said nothing, merely turned back to Thor and hoisted Aspen into your arms more securely. 

With a mumbled goodbye, you and Thor were gone. The others, once again, were left wondering when, or if, they would see you again.


	12. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Bucky didn’t go too well, so now what are you supposed to do?

It had been two weeks since you’d learned the truth about why Bucky had broken your heart. You’d returned to Asgard with Thor, and had quickly fallen back into your routine. No one had seen hide nor hair of Loki, and you were more grateful than you knew how to say. Thor had told Sif and the Warriors Three what had happened, and they’d been doing their best to keep you distracted. 

“Come on, [Y/N]. Stop being so distracted or I will actually hurt you” Sif said, leaning down to offer you a hand up. She’d thrown you over her shoulder and you’d landed, winded, on your back.

You mumbled an apology as she pulled you to your feet. You brushed the dirt off and got back into position but within a few minutes you were on your butt again and she was glaring down at you. You really were trying to pay attention, but your thoughts kept wandering back to Bucky.

“Alright, That’s it. We’re talking this out. What is making it so much worse today?” She asked arms crossed over her chest as she waited for you to answer.

“I’m sorry. Just… it’s been two weeks, Sif” you sighed

“I get it, but what’s so special about that?” 

“On Midgard, in families who aren’t together, the kids tend to see the other parent at least every two weeks and I want to be fair to Bucky so I need to take her to see him but I don’t want to see him” you rushed out, frowning at her.

“Simple? Send her with Thor. That way, you don’t have to see him!” she shrugged.

“I can’t do that. He’s an Avenger and I’ve already put him in a bad spot with the others because he hid her and I don’t want to make it worse if I don’t have to. Besides, if something happens while they’re there, he’d have to sit out to watch her and that’s not fair to the others. So, I can’t just send Aspen with him” 

“How long would you want her to spend with him?”

“I dunno? Eventually, I’d like him to see her for a weekend at a time but I’m not there yet so I think just a day trip would be good…”

“I’ll take her then, problem solved” Sif grinned at you.

You blinked slowly, “Wait, what?”

“It’s easy. I’ll go with Thor to Midgard and take Aspen, she can spend the day with her dad and I’ll make sure she’s safe if anything happens, and then we’ll come back. That way you don’t have to face him yet, she gets to see her dad, and I can meet more of your old team”

“Sif… thank you for the offer but I don’t know if I feel comfortable having Aspen off-world without me” you chewed your lip as you thought.

“Look [Y/N], I know you trust me, right? Hell, I was the first person you told that you were pregnant, so I know you do. You also trust me to watch your back in a fight and watch Aspen here. Unless something goes wrong, we’ll be with Thor and the Avengers the whole time, and if something does happen, well, we’ll come right back. I promise, I won’t let Aspen out of my sight for a moment” 

For a long moment, you said nothing, your thoughts racing. Eventually, you nodded shooting her a grateful smile, “Thank you Sif. It would mean the world to me.”

She smirked, “I know. Now, can you please focus on training?”

~~~~~~

“Thor, Aspen, and a guest have arrived. They’re on their way up now” Friday’s voice echoed throughout the now empty living room.

Ever since the day you’d left, again, everyone had been on edge. Everyone was dancing around Bucky, trying to stay out of his way or cheer him up. Even Steve was worried about Bucky, he’d never seen that look of utter loss on his face before. Now that Bucky knew the truth, knew how he’d been played by Loki, he couldn’t stop wishing he could go back in time to undo what he’s said. The regret was eating away at him, and now that he knew about Aspen, it hurt him even more to not know when he’d see her again, so when Friday announced her arrival he was on his feet and waiting for the elevator doors to open.

When the elevator doors opened, Bucky took a slight step back when he realized you weren’t with them. He’d never expected you to let Aspen go anywhere without you. Even when he’d been on Asgard with her, you’d always had to know where he was or you started worrying. The fact that Aspen was here with someone else, reminded him just how bad he’d really screwed up. 

Lady Sif was holding a wriggling Aspen against her side, her gaze studying the room quickly when the doors opened. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Bucky so close to the elevator doors, but she’d promised to be nice to him, at least for Aspen’s sake. Even so, she stepped out of the elevator before Thor and brushed past Bucky to walk into the main lounge. 

“I have a special delivery” she grinned and held up the wriggling Aspen, speaking to Nat and Clint, recognizing the duo from all the stories you had told her. 

Nat smiled back and reached out to take Aspen, “Thank you…?” her voice trailed off, asking for a name.

“This is Lady Sif, and she graciously offered to help me keep an eye on Aspen today” Thor offered, standing next to her. 

“Didn’t know you needed a babysitter” Tony smirked.

“[Y/N] was more worried about you guys than him” Sif responded with a playful shrug.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clint muttered, sitting on the floor with Nat to play with Aspen. Bucky was still standing awkwardly by the elevator door, and Steve had to motion for him to get his butt over there before he moved. 

“How’s she doing?” Bucky asked as he walked up to Thor.

Before Thor could respond, Sif stepped forward her voice determined as she spoke, “How she’s doing is none of your business, Bucky Barnes. You made your decisions, now deal with them. She asked me to bring Aspen for a day trip, so might I recommend spending time with your daughter instead of asking questions you have no right to?”

The room waited with bated breath to see how Bucky would take this stranger’s comments. Bucky’s hand tightened into a fist and Steve started to get to his feet, but just as soon as it started, Bucky released the fist. He brushed past her and joined Natasha and Clint on the floor with Aspen, and conversation slowly started back up.

As early afternoon rolled around, Aspen was ready for her nap. Bucky picked her up and began to head to his room, stopping when he saw Sif following him. 

“Can I help you” he grumbled, trying to be polite and failing miserably.

“No. I promised I wouldn’t let Aspen out of my sight so..” she shrugged, and waited for him to get moving again.

“Does she really think I’d let anything happen to her?!” he asked Sif, his voice a mix of heavy desperation and anger.

Sif shook her head as Aspen shifted in her dad’s arms, “No, it’s not like that. She was worried you’d all get called away on a mission and if you need Thor, she wanted to make sure someone was around to take her home.”

Once Aspen was safely napping on the bed Tony had helped Bucky get for her in his room, Sif motioned for Bucky to join her in the hall. Curiously, he followed her and waited as she shut the door almost all the way behind her.

“Alright, look. She’d kill me if she found out about this, got it? But if everything works out, ya gotta tell her.” Sif started, and after Bucky nodded in agreement she continued, “Loki’s an asshole and we’ve all suffered at his pranks before. From what she and Thor have said of you, and what I saw today, you’re just another fool paying the price because of him. And if that’s the case, I want to help. She’s miserable without you, Bucky. But, before I decide if I’m going to help, I need you to convince me why you deserve another chance with [Y/N].”

Bucky stood in silence for a moment before he responded, voice cautious, “You really want to help?” 

“Depends on if you convince me you’re what she needs.” Sif answered, “Tell me why I should help you get her back.”

“The truth is? You shouldn’t” Bucky sighed, “She’s right to be mad at me. I don’t blame her at all. She always told me how much she loved me and how much I meant to her. But she was avoiding me, and I let Loki get into my head. And then I convinced myself that she would be better off without me so I shouldn’t fight her on it. Which then turned into I should break up with her first so she wouldn’t feel guilty about it. I should have talked to her. If I could go back in time, I’d tell Loki to fuck off and go talk to her, tell her everything. It kills me to know everything I’ve missed out on with Aspen. Her first words, her first steps, all of that gone because Loki tricked me and I didn’t just talk to her.”

He took a breath before continuing, “Truth be told, she deserves someone who will be there for her when the going gets tough. Someone she can rely on and trust. Above all, someone who will listen to her and talk to her about stuff… I don’t deserve [Y/N]. I don’t deserve her soft hugs after a long mission, the way she can be utterly exhausted but always finds the energy to make sure everyone else is okay first, her gentle kisses when someone’s watching and the way she steals my breath when no one is. So, Sif, I can’t tell you why you should help me get her back. But I can say, if you do, I won’t keep things from her. I’ll do my best to make sure she’s happy and I won’t ever let her go”

Silence reigned over the hall for a few minutes before Sif made up her mind. She grabbed his hand and shook it, “I’ll help. But if you hurt one hair on her head ever again, you’ll pay with your life. Do you understand, Bucky?”

“What’s the plan” He asked, voice cautious.

“Just leave it to me. You keep your head low but when the time comes, you tell her what you just told me. And don’t forget, once everything has settled, you have to tell her about this or you’ve lied again and you’re on your own. I won’t help you again.”


	13. Family First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family always comes first. Also, Tony’s a brat

Two months after he disappeared, Loki returned. At first you tried to avoid him but he refused to give up that easily, and kept trailing you at every turn. Every time he approached you, you turned and went the other way before he could even get a word out. After a week of being basically stalked by him, you finally caved. Aspen was back on Midgard visiting Bucky with Sif and Thor, and you’d been on your way back to your room when you decided you’d had enough. 

You’d grabbed his arm and shoved him into your room without saying a word, and he went along with it willingly. Taking a seat in your favorite chair, you waited impatiently for him to speak. He sat in the chair facing yours, and cleared his throat nervously.

“[Y/N], I know you’re pissed at me and you have every reason to be. I just… I need you to know I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Loki sighed.

“Then why didn’t you stop it? You could have come clean at any point, Loki. Instead, you kept quiet and Aspen and I paid the price for it. Would you ever… were you ever going to tell me?”

“I… don’t know. When everything happened, we were just acquaintances. I barely knew you. Sure I felt bad about the two of you splitting up but we’d never really talked and I just.. Yeah. But then you came here and we became friends, and then family, and you always stood up for me to others when no one else did and I didn’t know how to tell you” Loki admitted. 

“But did you really think it would be better if I never found out? If I just spent my life thinking Bucky didn’t love me and that’s why he left? How was that the better option?” 

“I just didn’t want you to hate me” he whispered, glancing at the ground before meeting your eyes, “I knew I needed to tell you but I just couldn’t do it. You’re the sister I never wanted, and I was afraid you’d hate me and leave us when you found out.”

“Of course I’d be mad, Loki. This all sucks and I’d have been downright pissed. But you didn’t, and now I’m just hurt and I know you didn’t mean to cause me pain but you did a damn good job of it. Instead you lied to me, at least through omission. You had almost two years to tell me the truth, and you didn’t. That’s what hurts the most. If you’d just told me before we could have talked this out dammit. Instead I’m now fighting with my brother and my ex.”

“I know. I get it, I just. At first I didn’t care but then I did and I didn’t know how to tell you and then everyday it felt like if I told you it would only hurt worse and I felt more guilty about it every damned day so I only felt worse and I just kept going round and round and I’m sorry. I know I can’t fix it but I need you to know I’m sorry…”

You said nothing, your thoughts racing. You understood where he was coming from. He’d suffered a lot in his life, so while you didn’t agree, you could understand how he’d be too afraid to speak up. The look on his face made it clear it wasn’t lying. You’d spent enough time with him over the years to know he was being truthful, and was honestly apologetic about what had happened. Knowing he didn’t mean to implode your life didn’t mean you magically forgave him though.

After what felt like hours, Loki got to his feet and began to head towards the door, unwilling to even look at you, “I’m sorry [Y/N]. I’ll leave you alone, I won’t bother you again.”

Before he could leave the room you jumped to your feet and gently grabbed his arm to stop him, “Loki. I’m mad at you of course, but we’re still family. I didn’t mean what I said, I don’t want you to go away forever. But I need space and time. I don’t forgive you, not yet at least, but I don’t hate you. You’ll always be my annoying brother, even when you fuck up. Okay?”

Loki looked at your hand on his arm before looking up at you, his eyes sad, “Thank you… And I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” you wrapped him in a quick hug, his arms quickly wrapping around you in return. After a brief moment you stepped back out of his reach, “I’ll see you around, okay? Just give me a little while please.”

Loki nodded and shot you a sad smile before he slipped out of the room. It felt good to have at least cleared the air with him. Eventually, you’d forgive him but right now you didn’t want to even spend too much time with him, it was just a reminder of everything. 

~~Three Weeks Later~~

It had been three months since you’d last seen Bucky, and it was killing you. You just kept replaying the conversation in your head every night, remembering how he looked when he finally told you the truth like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Every time you remembered that look though, you felt the familiar stab as you recalled his callous words the night he’d ended your relationship. 

You hadn’t been able to stomach the idea of going to see Bucky yet, but luckily Sif had offered to keep going back for you. You’d halfheartedly tried to convince her that she didn’t need to, but she’d insisted and you were too grateful to push too hard. You weren’t sure what you were going to do when she got tired of traveling back and forth for a day every two weeks, but you knew you had to come up with something soon. 

If it wasn’t for the stubbornness of Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three you’d have withdrawn from everyone completely. At first, you’d tried just that. Clearly, you were better off alone if everyone was going to betray you. They never let you get far away, always dragging you into conversations and situations until you gave up on fighting for them. Finally, you were beginning to stop fighting them and had begun to let them back in. 

They’d tried to get you to talk about Bucky, to Bucky, for weeks now without success. The highlight though was one day, right before Sif and Aspen’s last visit when you’d come back into your quarters with Aspen, to find the group all seated around your suite.

“Didn’t know we were having a party in here today?” You’d muttered as you took a seat with Aspen on the floor

“We’re here for something that Tony recommended” Thor started, a soft smile on his face.

At that point, you’d begun to quietly curse, this was going to be good. You tried to scoop Aspen back up and make a break for it but Hogun stepped forward to block you before you could even make it to the door. With a heavy sigh, you waited for him to continue. Even you hadn’t expected what came out of Thor’s mouth next.

“He said you may know it as an intervention? We’re supposed to tell you how what you’re doing affects us and why it’s important?” Thor sounded slightly unsure but optimistic. He was doing his best and it took everything in you not to bust out laughing.

“Thor… Did Tony tell you when an intervention is typically used…?” you questioned, barely concealing a smirk.

He shook his head, and you finally couldn’t hold the laughter in anymore, “Thor, brother, an intervention is mostly used when the person is an alcoholic or drug addict, and I feel like we all know neither of those fit me.”

Thor blanched as the others began to laugh and tease him, and you’d given him a gentle hug. He’d been trying to help and you loved that, but it also made you feel better to know that Tony was still setting him up in moments like this. After everyone agreed that an intervention was not in fact required in this scenario, it quickly became a night of swapping embarrassing stories. Honestly, it had ended up being just the night you had needed and you were so grateful for the failed intervention.

~~~~~~

The next day, Sif and Thor had traveled to Midgard with Aspen for their visit. Tony had laughed when he learned of the failed intervention and wished he had your face on camera. Thor had grumbled to him and they’d set off to talk.

Sif had pulled Bucky, Clint, and Steve aside as she began to tell them her plan. Steve had blushed profusely at Sif’s plan but she winked at him mischievously and assured him everything would be okay. They spent the entire day playing with Aspen while they figured out their master plans, including three backup plans. By the time sunset rolled around and it was time to leave, they were ready. Or, as ready as they would ever be.

~~~~~~

That had been a week ago. You were in the armory cleaning your equipment when Sif strolled in. She paused to lean against the door, one eyebrow cocked as she took in the scene in front of her. You were seated at the table, sharpening your dagger while Aspen sat at your feet, playing with her favorite stuffed animal. 

“Is it even safe for her to be in here?” Sif smirked as you looked over to her.

“What safer place for a kid than in the armory? Besides, it’s never too early to start her training” you teased, “Nah, but seriously. She’s fine. I’ve got an eye on her, and this way I get to multitask!”

“We’ll start her training at 3, give her a few years to learn to walk reliably” Sif laughed, pulling up a seat next to you. 

“Sounds perfect. I’m sure we’ll have her in fighting shape by the time she’s a teen” you snorted, setting down the freshly sharpened dagger on the table in front of her.

Sif nodded in approval as she ran her finger gently down the blade, “I’m not just here to judge you on your parenting. I need your help.” 

You turned, giving her your (almost) full attention, “You know you need only ask Sif. After everything? I owe you whatever you need.”

“You say that, but you have no idea what I’ve come to ask.”

“You’re not really selling me on helping you, just so you know. What’s up?”

“I need you to come with me to Midgard next time.” she put her hand up to stop you before you could speak, “I’m not asking you to talk to Bucky. I need your help with Steve.”

“What..?” of all the things you’d expected to be asked, this was not one of them.

“I need you to come with me and tell me if I have a chance with him” she smirked playfully.

“Sif, feel free to take this the wrong way, but you can’t date him” you chuckled.

“Well, why the hell not? Are you going to tell me I’m not good enough for him or he’s not good enough for me?” Sif huffed, but the grin on her face belayed the anger.

“Sweetie, you’d break him. Literally. He may be a super soldier but I’m not sure he could withstand you.”

She grinned, “But can’t you let me try? I just need you to tell me if I’m reading him correctly. Pleaseeeeee. I promise I won’t make you talk to Bucky or anything like that.”

You sighed, you did owe her and she was pleading. You could never refuse her a favor like this, not when something like this could make her so happy if it worked. She’d hugged you tight and darn near skipped out of the room, and it didn’t dawn on you that something was seriously off.

That’s how you found yourself back here again, Aspen in your arms and butterflies in your stomach as you slowly walked into the tower. This time you didn’t bother asking Friday not to announce you. Might as well face the music, right? 

The minute the elevator doors opened onto the lounge, Clint didn’t even give you a chance to get out before he had slung one arm over your shoulder. You smiled softly at him and strolled out of the elevator with him on your side.

Bucky was standing back in the main living space, giving you as much space as he could. He’d cut his hair and made sure he looked presentable today, at least according to Steve. All you saw though were those eyes that had stolen your heart from the start and it tightened painfully in your chest as you smiled softly at him.

You carefully passed him Aspen and turned to face Sif and Cap. She was resting her hand on his broad upper arm and doing everything she could to make it clear to him she was flirting. She’d even gone so far as to lean in and whisper in his ear, her lips brushing against him and causing his face to flash an almost violent shade of red. You couldn’t decide if he was horribly uncomfortable or just unsure of himself, so you knew you’d have to keep a close on him today. 

Watching the two of them together, you couldn’t help but be jealous of what you’d lost and you began to shoot Bucky small glances. After a few minutes of that, you sighed and excused yourself, saying you were headed to the restroom. Before you could leave though, Clint muttered that he needed to speak with you privately afterward, and asked you to meet him in Banner’s lab. 

Five minutes later, you entered the dark lab and began to walk around, waiting for Clint curiously. It wasn’t until you heard the low whir of the locks that you realized you’d been tricked. Banner’s lab also doubled as a safe containment area for the Hulk, and you knew that even Wanda struggled to have her powers affect anyone or anything outside the room.

You turned to face the door, and there stood Clint holding up a sign that simply said ‘Sorry!’. Cursing him under your breath, you asked Friday to turn the lights on. The lights slowly amped up, and you heard slow footsteps behind you. 

You let out a soft sigh, you knew you’d been played. This had all been a ploy to get you back here and make you talk to him, and you’d fell for hook. line, and sinker. As the footsteps drew closer, you took a deep breath and turned to face him.

“Doll, can we please talk now?” Bucky asked softly, coming to a stop a few feet from you.


	14. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for you two to clear the air.

If you thought he’d been sleep deprived before, you weren’t prepared for the heavy bags under his eyes. You hadn’t seen him that exhausted since he’d first joined the team and had been battling his nightmares. When was the last time he had slept through the night? 

You leaned against the wall and slowly sunk down, closing your eyes as you leaned back to rest your head against the cool wall. You didn’t look as he joined you, sitting against the wall, close enough to reach out and touch but it felt like miles as you remembered all the late-night talks with the two of you side-by-side, sitting together as the world moved around you. 

“Bucky, I don’t want to talk. Not anymore, I can’t do this” you sighed, your voice dropping to a whisper before you continued, “I can’t take it anymore babe…”

“Please, just give me a chance Doll… Hear me out this one time and I won’t ever ask you to again” he begged, his voice was low.

“Do I even get a choice?” 

He nodded slowly, “Yeah, you get a choice. I’m done making decisions for you… If you tell me to shut up, I’ll just sit here with you until the doors unlock.”

You didn’t respond and you pulled your knees up against you, wrapping your arms around them as you rested your chin on them. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you studied him out of the corner of your eye. He was sitting rigid, staring straight ahead as he waited for you to decide. To those who didn’t know him, he would just look like a man lost in thought. You could see the nerves beneath the surface, the tension brewing in him like a storm. 

You took a shuddering breath and closed your eyes tightly, “Okay”

“Is that… okay shut up or okay talk?” he asked softly, trying to bite back the hope in case you meant for him to be quiet.

“Okay, you can talk” you explained, turning to look at him, the side of your head now cushioned on your arms. 

Bucky sat up slowly, afraid that if he moved too fast you’d spook like a wild animal. He shifted to sit facing you, the palms of his hands resting on his knees as he sat, legs crisscrossed. Nervously, he brushed the hair out of his face and let out a slow breath before he began.

“[Y/N] I need you to know I did - do - love you. I’ve never stopped. You’ve always been the one for me, and I miss you more than I can say every day that I’m not with you. I know you think I don’t love you, and you have every reason to think that because of what I did, what I said. I know I should have talked to you about it all when Loki first started in on me.

“But I didn’t, Doll. God, if I could go back in time I would, I’d sit you down and tell you everything. Instead, I let Loki tell me that you’d finally realized I was too fucked up. I let him convince me that you’d be happier without me. That you were planning on dumping me that night. I let myself listen to his lies and it wasn’t long before I began to believe them.

“I mean, you’re you, baby. You’re amazing and funny and sweet and always quick with a smile for your team. And I’m me, damaged and broken. What in the hell had I done to deserve you? Of course, you finally came to your senses. I didn’t decide not to talk to you because I don’t love you, or because I don’t trust you. I didn’t talk to you about it because it made total sense that you’d be done with me. 

“At first I was determined to do better, be better, to win you back. I wanted to convince you to stay with me. And then it dawned on me you’d be better without me. You could move on and be happy without having to worry about me freaking out in a crowd, or me waking up in the middle of the night screaming. You deserve so much more.

“And I know you, you’re so sweet. And so caring. I didn’t want you to feel bad, I didn’t want you to feel guilty for dumping me. I thought if I broke up with you first, you’d feel relieved. I thought you’d be happy… So I said the stupidest thing I could come up with, something you couldn’t argue.”

Bucky stopped, dragging his flesh hand through his hair. You didn’t speak, your mind racing as you processed everything he said. His metal hand began to flex against his knee, clenching and unclenching as the nerves took over. Wordlessly, you reached over to grab his metal hand in warm hand, your fingers softly intertwining as you began to rub soothing circles into the back of his hand as you had so many times before.

After a long moment, he continued, “I never knew how much it could hurt to be away from you, Doll. I never thought you’d leave, I thought I’d just have to watch you from afar. I didn’t count on not seeing you for almost two years. I thought I’d lose my mind when the only thing Thor would tell me is that you were okay. It killed me to not know how you were really doing and I realized I had fucked up but I didn’t know what to do about it.

“And then, Steve showed me a picture of you and Aspen smiling together and I realized just how bad my screw up had been. I realized I’d given up everything I had ever wanted, needed, because Loki got into my head. And I didn’t know how to tell you the truth when I saw you again. Then Loki was always there and you were happy and I thought I had to give you up, but Doll, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give you up, not to him. 

“I’m so sorry Doll… I would take it all back if I could. I know it doesn’t mean much anymore, but I love you…” his voice trailed off, eyes staring down at the floor in between the two of you.

With your free hand, you wiped the tears from your eyes, gently squeezing his hand in your own. Neither of you spoke, your mind racing as you tried to put everything together. He refused to look at you, afraid of what he’d see.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, “Bucky, I never wanted you to be anyone but yourself. I know you think - thought? - that you’re a bad person but you’re not. You’re stubborn and playful and I’ve never met someone as loyal and brave as you. You always made me want to be better, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I just wish you’d talked to me… Maybe we wouldn’t be here. Maybe you would have known Aspen from the start…. Maybe we would still be together.”

“Were you ever going to tell me about her?” his voice was barely a whisper, the question he’d been too afraid to ask seemed to echo around the room.

“Yes. I didn’t mean to keep her from you but every time I thought about coming back here or telling you it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified you’d tell me you didn’t want her, and I didn’t know how I’d handle that… I was scared.” you admitted.

“What were you going to tell her… About me?” his eyes studied the wall across the room as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

“I was going to be as honest as I could be. Tell her that her dad was another Midgardian who I’d worked with and we’d been good together until we weren’t. Figured by that time she’d be old enough to come visit you if she wanted so I’d have to tell you by then, and if you wanted, she could come visit. I know it wasn’t my best decision but I got scared and didn’t know what to do…”

Leaving your hands nestled together, he slowly moved to sit in front of you sitting so close your legs were softly brushing together. Slowly you moved to mimic his position, the two of you sitting with your legs crisscrossed, knees touching. You bit your lip, glancing down at your hands before looking up at him through your lashes. He reached up, cupping your cheek in his hand and you leaned into it, eyes sinking closed. 

“Give me another chance, Doll. Let me prove that I love you, I’ll never let you go again” he pleaded, his hand falling back to his side slowly.

“We’re not the same people anymore, Bucky. I’m not the woman you knew, I’ve changed… What if we’re just too different now?” you looked anywhere but at him as you voiced your fear.

“What if we’re not? Please Doll, one chance. Just give me one chance to prove to you we can try again.”

Eventually, you nodded once, “One date, Bucky. If we can’t make it work though, we have to move on. We have to figure out how to be friends, for Aspen’s sake, Okay?”

He nodded, smiling gently at you, “I swear you won’t regret this, [Y/N].”

His eyes quickly wandered to look at your lips before back up to meet your gaze. You blushed softly, pulling your lower lip slightly in between your teeth as you smiled up at him. His hand was still resting against your face, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. The moment seemed to linger as he carefully leaned in stopping an inch away, his eyes searching yours for permission. Slowly, you leaned forward and met his lips. 

The kiss started slow, nervous. It didn’t take long before his hands rested on your hips and you were in his lap, your fingers tangled in his hair. He kissed you like a drowning man searching for a last breath of air, desperate and needy. For a moment, everything was right with the world. 

And then, it wasn’t. A piercing wolf whistle pierced the silence as the doors opened, and you let out a low groan, burying your head in his shoulder. Bucky growled, his hands still gripping your hips as he glared over your shoulder at Clint. 

“Hadn’t heard anything from you two in a bit, we were starting to get worried. Apparently, that wasn’t needed” Clint smirked, “Anyways, looks like you two love birds don’t need to be grounded anymore. You can come join us for dinner if you aren’t too busy.”

Bucky grabbed an empty vial off the counter next to you and chucked it at Clint’s head. Unfortunately, Clint had already ducked around the corner and the glass shattered against the wall instead. You let out a breathy chuckle against his neck, before carefully sliding off his lap. 

Bucky got to his feet, and helped you to yours, pulling you into his chest. You pecked him on the cheek before stepping back out of his space. His hand quickly found yours, and you smiled over at him as the familiar sense of peace he'd always given you settled in, warm and comforting like a fireplace in a blizzard. 

Your hands still entangled, you rejoined the group in the dining room. The others were all smiling and glancing down at your hands as you settled into the empty seats they’d saved for the two of you, no one wanting to draw attention to the affection you two were showing. Everyone but Clint of course.

“Glad you two could join us” Clint smirked, winking at you across the table. 

After a long pause, you smiled at him, your grin predatory, “5… 4…” 

“Clint? Run” Nat laughed. 

His eyes flew wide, and he jumped to his feet, racing out of the room. As he rounded the corner, he started to slip in his socks and had to catch himself on the wall as he fled. You continued your countdown until he was out of the room and then laughed softly, stealing the water glass Clint had left behind.

“So, are you going to get him or..?” Bucky chuckled, squeezing your hand in his.

“Nah, I’m content to just let him run. It’s more fun to leave him stressing” you shrugged, leaving Nat laughing at your plan.

Dinner that evening was fun, it seemed like a heavy fog had lifted from the group. Clint never returned to the table, and you knew he was out there hiding, worrying about how you’d get him back. Throughout dinner, you and Bucky worked together to take care of Aspen, taking turns feeding her and entertaining her while the other ate. You and Bucky never stopped touching during dinner, whether it be your knees brushing against one another or your pinky fingers linking. 

When everything had been cleaned up after dinner and everyone had settled in on the couch to watch a movie, Clint finally returned to the group. He muttered under his breath and watched you warily as he took a seat by Natasha, as far as he could get from you in the room. You merely winked at him, waiting for Bucky to return from putting Aspen to bed in your room. Friday would let you know if she woke or anything happened, and you knew she’d be safe so you were kind of excited for an adults-only evening. 

Lady Sif had curled up next to Steve, her head resting on his shoulder and he stared down at her, eyes blown wide and face as red as a tomato. The poor man was stiff as a board and you were trying so hard not to laugh at the panic on his face. As Bucky settled back into the couch next to you, you smiled at him then turned back to Sif and Steve. 

“You doing okay over there, Steve?” you teased.

“What? Yeah. No. Of course. I’m fine.” he stammered, his blush deepening.

“I told you, Sif” you snickered, “You’re going to break the poor man.”

Sif merely shrugged at you, her eyes dancing playfully as she leaned into Steve more. You were beginning to worry the super soldier was actually uncomfortable when you noticed the soft way he looked at her, and you began to wonder if there really was something there or if he was just too worried about offending her to push her away. Before you could bug her again, Bucky pulled you against his side. You weren’t sure what tomorrow would bring, or if there would be a future for the two of you, but if there wasn’t you didn’t want to have wasted a single moment not touching him when you could have. 

As the movie started, you snuggled into him, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. Slowly, you fell asleep, tucked into him. You didn’t see the way he smiled softly down at you, his fingers slowly combing through your hair as you slept on him. It was the best sleep you’d had in a long while honestly. 

When the movie finally drew to a close, Steve sprang away from Sif and quickly retreated, claiming he needed to be up early. As the others dispersed, Nat showing Sif where the guest rooms were, Bucky slowly got to his feet and picked you up. You burrowed into his chest, letting out a content sigh as he carried you to your room.

You let out a quiet groan of protest when he set you carefully on your bed. For a moment, you thought about asking him to stay but even in your exhaustion you knew it was too soon for that, you both needed space and time to figure out how you were going to make this work. He kissed you gently on the forehead, then did the same for Aspen before retreating to his room.


	15. A Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Bucky to take you out on a date. Will you still have the same feelings? Will you still be able to make it work or is this something better left in the past so you can focus on Aspen?

Bucky had convinced you to stay in the tower for a few days so he could plan the perfect date. He’d taken some time off from missions, although he was still on-call in case of an emergency, and you’d been spending a lot of time with him and Aspen. This morning, the three of you had gone to a small toy store downtown, and you realized just how wrapped around her finger he already was. 

Every time Aspen found a toy she loved, he’d picked it up and added it to the basket. At first, it had been cute, but when he tried to add a rather loud singing toy you’d had to stop him. When you shook your head at him and put it back on the shelf he shot you a small pout.

“Do you want to hear that thing at all hours, non-stop? Because I swear that's what will happen” you laughed softly.

“But she loves it!” he frowned, sighing at the toy.

“Bucky, you’re already buying her half the store here. I promise you she won’t even remember the toy in a minute” you smiled at him.

Bucky tried to argue with you, and when that didn’t work he’d resorted to pleading. You laughed and dragged him away from the toy. It wasn’t long before Aspen - and Bucky - were playing with a set of blocks and they ended up in the basket too. Sure, Bucky couldn’t deny your baby girl a thing, but you weren’t sure you could deny him anything either. 

You’d steered them to the front, making your purchases and had returned to the tower before you realized that he’d managed to sneak the noisy toy in. Aspen was sitting on the floor, happily playing with the blocks when you turned to look at Bucky, a mock glare on your face as you silently held up the toy. Of course, the moment you moved it the loud music kicked on and your daughter turned to you, clapping and reaching for the toy. 

You’d given her the toy, and thrown a pillow at Bucky’s face. Twenty minutes later, it seemed like the tune had played for the millionth time. Every time the song started over, you shot a glare at Bucky who at least had the decency to flash you a sheepish grin. You’d finally excused yourself from the room to go get a snack, leaving Bucky behind to deal with the obnoxious toy. 

As you stepped out of the guest room that you had claimed as your own, you paused, glancing across the hall at the room that had once been yours. You’d refused to step foot in there ever since that night. With the door shut behind you, you froze in the hallway, torn. 

After a deep breath, you stepped forward and reached for the door handle. They’d never changed your permissions, and the door opened for you without resistance. As you walked in, shutting the door behind you, you flipped on the light switch and took in the scene in front of you.

The room looked almost as you remembered it. The pictures you’d taken with Bucky still covered the walls, and the Winter Soldier bedspread you’d bought as a joke was still on the bed. The closet door was open, and behind the clothes, you could make out cardboard boxes with your name written on them. 

On top of the dresser sat the photo taken the day you’d gotten engaged, and you picked it up carefully. You were wearing your favorite sundress, and your hair was being blown around wildly by the wind. The trees behind you were gorgeous shades of red and gold, but that wasn’t what drew your eye. No, Bucky was kneeling, your hand in his as he asked you to be his wife. 

The smile on his face was big enough to melt even the coldest heart, and you'd never imagined you could be as happy as you had been that day. Until the day you’d welcomed Aspen into the world, it had been the happiest day of your life. Now, it was just a bittersweet memory. You took a seat on the bed, looking around the room quietly, overwhelmed.

Memories of everything you’d lost began to race by and you struggled to fight back tears. A few moments later, the door opened and Bucky stepped in, shutting the door behind him again. You looked at him, puzzled, but before you could speak he beat you to it. 

“Clint and Nat have her, and it’s time for us to go on that date” his voice was nervous, watching you cautiously, “Does that work for you? Do you need time to get ready or are you good to go now or…?”

“Um… can you give me 15?” you asked, nerves beginning to settle in and overtake the sadness of the past. 

He shot you a soft smile, “I’ll meet you in 15 minutes, in the hall.”

You smiled back and slipped out of the room, back into yours. Clint and Nat were sitting in there, entertaining Aspen. Without saying a word to them, you took a seat on the bed and rested your head in your hands. Neither one spoke, both staying on the floor with Aspen as they waited for you to open up.

“What if this is a mistake?” you grumbled, “It’s been two years guys. What if we’re just better off as friends?”

“Well, I know you guys still have chemistry” Clint smirked, “I still have nightmares about walking in on you two in the lab!”

You let out a low chuckle when you heard his quiet yelp as Nat smacked his shoulder. You shot her a grateful smile and you waited anxiously to hear what she’d say. She had always been known to give you some pretty great advice. 

“First off, if you think you two would be better off as friends that’s completely fine. You don’t need to date him to have him in Aspen’s life, so don’t feel like you need to do this. However, I also know you are still in love with him, and I think you owe it to yourself to find out where this goes and you’ll regret it if you don’t” she chose her words carefully, watching you.

“I do want to give him another chance... I want this but what if he does this again? If he breaks my heart I don’t know how I’ll face him. And then how will that work with Aspen?” you gently chewed your lower lip. 

“I can’t tell you what’s right for you. But, I know that no matter what happens, you’ve got this. Things will work out with Aspen, I promise. You are both adults and you both adore this little girl, nothing will stop you from making sure she gets to be a part of both of your lives. If you want to try this, just focus on you and him tonight, just don’t worry about all this” Nat smiled softly at you.

“Come on [Y/N]. Don’t be a coward, go get laid” Clint laughed, grabbing Aspen up and skipping out of Nat’s way before she could smack him again.

“Are you seriously using my daughter as a shield right now?!” you stared at him, shooting him a playful glare.

You could see the thoughts racing across his face as he slowly set Aspen down by Nat and backed away. Once she was safely in Nat’s arms, you grabbed one of Aspen’s blocks and threw it at his head, and while he was distracted blocking that one you threw another one at his shin. He cursed, grabbing his leg while you got to your feet.

“You’re right, Nat.” you quickly brushed out your hair and changed in the bathroom before stepping back into the hallway at exactly the 15-minute mark. 

Bucky was wearing a maroon button-up shirt, and his hair was tucked back behind his ears. A soft smile graced his face as he looked you over. You smiled nervously at him, wringing your hands nervously in front of you. 

“You look gorgeous, Doll” Bucky held out his hand to you.

“Thanks, Bucky, you look good too. Where we off to?” you asked, slipping your hand into his.

He shot you a smirk, “You’ll see!”

The two of you bundled into Bucky’s car and began to drive. The ride was nice, peaceful as the two of you talked. Eventually, you’d turned on the radio and had begun to sing along with some obnoxious pop music. Bucky rolled his eyes at you, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. The drive to the shore passed quickly, the two of you lost in the moment.

You paused as he led you up to the familiar diner, eyebrows drawing together curiously as you turned to look at him. He grinned, turning to face you again.

“We never got to go on the date you planned, I thought maybe it was time” his voice trailed off like a question, suddenly doubting he’d made the right choice.

A slow smile crept across his face as you pulled him towards the door, “It’s perfect, Bucky.”

~~~~~~

The evening passed in a blur. The food had been great and the two of you spent the evening laughing and talking. It had seemed like no time had passed at all, and as the sun began to set you headed out onto the shore. The crashing of the waves on the sand drew you in and you kicked off your shoes, strolling through the shallow surf. 

As the sun sank down below the horizon, Bucky pulled you down onto the sand next to him. The sky lit up in vibrant shades of red, pink and purple. You tucked yourself into his side, resting comfortably as night fell.

“I love you, [Y/N]” Bucky’s voice was quiet as he spoke, as if afraid to break the spell that had fallen over the shore.

“Bucky… I love you too” you gently pressed your lips to his cheek before leaning back, “But we need to talk about all this. If we want to do this, if we want to try again, we need to go slow. I can’t risk this going south, it would only hurt Aspen.” 

He smiled softly at you, pulling you close again, “I’m okay with that, Doll. We can take this as slow as you want. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I love you, and I hope I can earn back your trust..”

“I’d like that, Bucky” a small grin crept across your face as you curled up into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Tomorrow will be the final chapter of this story. Sorry that this was so delayed (two days!). I got a lot of feedback about how people thought the story should be ending, and I wanted to take time to think it all through and decide. In the end, I decided to stick with my originally planned ending, because that what feels right to me and I need to make sure I stay true to myself whenever I can. Anyways, thank you all for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy tomorrow's conclusion of the series!


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

It had been a year and a half since you and Bucky had agreed to take things slow, and things were going well. Some days it was still a struggle to talk to him, and at times you were still pissed he’d chosen to listen to Loki, but over time you’d come to accept he hadn’t done it because he didn’t love you, he was just an insecure ass. You still had a way to go, but things between you were truly looking up.

You were still living on Asgard with Aspen, but you traveled back to the city every other weekend to spend time with Bucky and the Avengers. On the weekends you weren’t there, Bucky came to Asgard. Going back and forth between the worlds all the time was hard on you both, but it was worth it. It allowed you guys the chance to truly take things slow - it’s hard for things to move fast when you’re living on different worlds during the week. 

Your relationship with Loki was rocky at the start, but you were beginning to get better. He was back to being Aspen’s favorite uncle, although Clint was definitely gunning for the position. Loki was doing his best to give you as much space as you needed, and he had vowed never to pull any pranks like that ever again. You were willing to believe him on that one. You'd taken to joking with Thor that the two of you were going to start a support group called Siblings Traumatized By Loki, and Loki had apologized sheepishly every time it was mentioned.

As for Bucky and Loki’s relationship? They’d only recently reached the point where they could be in the same room as one another, and you considered that a big step in the right direction. You weren't a big fan of your family being at odds with one another, but you didn't exactly blame Bucky.

Aspen had become a holy terror. Bucky was wrapped around her little finger, and it made things difficult often times as he was too prone to spoiling her on the weekends. It had taken a while, but the two of you were finally figuring out the whole co-parenting thing and it was going better now that the two of you were on the same page about all of that stuff.

You were back on Midgard for the weekend, and Bucky had asked you to come with him on another date. You'd been happy to oblige, and Aspen’s self-professed favorite aunt, Nat, was taking advantage of the time to take her shopping. 

Central Park was always one of your favorite places in Spring. The colorful blossoms lining the pathways gave the usually cold city a warm feel, and you adored it. The warm sunshine beating down you with the cool breeze blowing through was all you wanted, and you couldn't be happier. Bucky had managed to arrange for the two of you to have a picnic in the park, and while you'd teased him about being a big softie, it was honestly one of your favorite dates he had ever brought you on.

Your picnic had been interrupted by a frisbee almost hitting you in the head. You’d leaned back to catch it, and threw it back before turning to face Bucky again. A nervous smile lit up his face and in his hands lay your old engagement ring.

“Doll, will y-”

Before he could finish speaking, you’d wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. 

“Yes! Yes, Bucky,” you mumbled against his lips, and he laughed, his hands resting on your hips and pulling you into his lap. The two of you remained like that for a while, the kiss lazy and comfortable and you only broke away when you finally decided that breathing was relatively important. 

He slid the ring onto your finger, an excited grin lighting up his face as the two of you slowly fell into one another again. This time, you wouldn’t be so easy to part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all of the kudos and comments on this story. Every single one has meant the world to me! I really enjoyed writing this story, and I hope you all enjoyed the ride! This is the end of the story, but I'm not opposed to someday jumping back into this world and adding a few little one shots about what happens next for everyone. If you want to keep track of when I do that, please check me out on Tumblr: CoyoteSongWriting!


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